my graduate

isn't she lovely? I'm so proud. :)





Since I only have a fixed lens for my camera, and my point and shoot didn't like the lighting, I have ZERO pictures from the actual ceremony. So afterward I had her put on a few of her "props" and snapped a few pictures. :)





and then we found a few of her favorite people to remember from High Five:

Lillian with Luke, who we heard and awful lot about through the year. "he's very nice and he is really kind to me, and he makes really good choices." :)


the three musketeers: Lillian, Gianna, and Alyssa


her Tues/Thurs teacher, Mrs. Hill


getting a hug from her Mon/Wed/Fri teacher, Mrs. Williams


Mrs. Williams again. she told Judy, "Here's one I'm really going to miss. She's a special girl. She's one to watch...she's gonna be something." I couldn't agree more. :)


I have never for one single day regretted keeping Lillian in High Five instead of sending her to kindergarten. She's had such GREAT teachers, and her class was so small and the kids were so great. I met some other great moms, and best of all, Lillian got to go to a place where God was glorified in everything they did. I feel so blessed that she was a part of this program.

I can't believe that nine months ago she'd never been to school, ever. And starting next year, she'll be there all day every day for the next 13 years. oh my gosh...wasn't she just born????

problems...

it's been a problem filled week at the Hydeens....

First of all, the washer had been leaking for quite some time, and I finally just googled Omaha appliance repair and had someone come look at it. It's not something that I'm used to yet, living in Omaha- calling some random person that you don't know and don't know anyone else who knows them either, inviting them into my house where my children are, while Steve's at work. It gives me sort of a funny feeling, but it had to be done.

So the guy from All Appliance shows up and checks out the washer and says "um...how much do you like your washer?" and I say "um...why? do we need a new one?" and he tells me that the leak can be fixed, but that's not really the biggest problem. and that to fix it all would cost over 300 bucks and then we'd still have a really old washer. So I asked him what to do about billing, and about buying a new one, and he gave great advice for buying a new one, and even said he was going to say that we called and canceled so we wouldn't be charged for him to just come look at it! I was very impressed with this guy, and would totally call the company and give rave reviews for him, except, I "canceled" so he was never really here.... ;)

Steve and I went off in search of a new washer, and decided to go brand new as opposed to used, which is something we almost NEVER do. Long story short, we ended up at two different Lowe's to find the one we got, and are very impressed so far. The best part about it is that we got a front loader, which spins faster, and the clothes are much dryer when they come out, so then they only take ONE round in the dryer, which we're hoping to NOT replace any time soon. yay!

well, right before the guys hooked up the new one, I snuck (apparently that's not a word, but what is it then, sneaked? ah, yep, no more squiggly...) back there to clean up a bit, and wipe down the wall where a bit of mold was growing because the sheet rock and soaked up water from the washer leaking all the time. NICE. anyway, so I'm wiping the wall when suddenly my hand was like inside the wall, and possibly even inside the garage. The whole thing just fell apart while I wiped. UGH. so now we need to replace that part of the wall too. Good thing my dad can do it, and while we have him here, maybe we'll finish up the painting around the house too! fun!

and believe it or not, we have one more problem to deal with. Last week Steve was gone to Maryland for work, so I had to mow. Well, I ran out of gas while I mowed, so I filled up the gas tank with the little red gas can thing. makes sense, right? well, it didn't start right away, but eventually it did and I finished mowing. So I called steve the other day and asked if I should mow again, bc it's crazy long, and he's not around much to do it. So he says, "well, we're out of gas." and I say, "no, I just filled it." and he says "with what?" and I say "the little red gas can." and he says "the LITTLE red gas can or the BIG red gas can?" and I say "the red gas can that had gas in it....I don't know." so he explains that one is for the mower, and one is for the weed whacker, and I used the wrong gas. and I said, "Welll.... maybe we should MARK them with a MOWER and a WEED WHACKER label so that we know the difference!" Isn't that a good idea?

So now I just got done dumping the "wrong" gas out of the mower and into a dish tub thing, and I'll take the BIG red gas tank to the gas station and fill it up so I can mow again. And my dad said it'll probably smoke a little from the oil that was in there, and we might need to replace our spark plugs on the mower...or something...we'll see how this all goes.

Let's just hope that we're problem free for the rest of the week, and heck, I'll even hope for the weekend!

in search of summer: Brielle

My friend Mary at the yellow door paperie is hosting "in search of summer" and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share some of my favorite recent pictures. :)

My next few posts will be showing a few ways I see summer approaching for each kid. And for starters, here a few pictures of Brielle. If you're wanting to check out what others are posting, click on this button, or the button on the side bar to head to Mary's blog with a list of people participating. happy summer searching! :)



I love this picture because you can see that the grass is green, the kids are playing outside, but it's not that croaking hot, can't stand to be outside kind of day. Long sleeves and shorts, or short sleeves and jeans...perfect. :)


And with summer approaching, we thought we'd beautify the front of the house a bit, and the ice cream truck just so happened to drive by while we were hot and sweaty. So we indulged ourselves.


and finally, we've got a diaper sticking out the back of a swimming suit, high heels on the wrong feet, and a long open sidewalk. does it get any better than this?



welcome, summer. welcome.

to pass the time...

So you all know the phrase "Mr. Mom" but for the past couple days I've been playing "Mrs. Dad." Fixing bikes, mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, ya know, all the stuff Steve usually does. and I'm sure ready for him to come home. :)

I know I've said it before, but I do much better, surprisingly, when Steve is out of town. When I get the "please just come home! when is he coming home?" stuff out of my head, I'm a much more pleasant person.

Until the kids go to bed anyway...

but this time, to pass the time, I just sat and watched episode after episode of Friday Night Lights. If you're my facebook friend, you probably already know my obsession with the show. It's safe to say, that by FAR, hands down, without a doubt, it's my favorite show EVER. And I just so happen to have all three seasons on dvd, thanks to my dear husband and his parents. Because not only did he give me what I ASKED FOR for mother's day (which was a clean and tilled garden, ready for planting), but they also got me these dvds. I've been wanting them so bad for a long time, but I'm just way too cheap to buy myself something like that. It was the best gift ever. :)

So I sit there for HOURS watching the drama of a high school football coach and his family, and the other various high schoolers and their families as well. And if I sit down dead tired, with my eyes half closed after being mommy and daddy for a whole day, and can no longer to anything that requires brain power, then something magical happens when the show comes on. I get stuck in it and find myself watching episodes until I FORCE myself to turn it off and go to bed. And this is at like 1:30 or so. I could watch them all night I tell you. The only weird thing is that I find myself saying (or almost saying) things like 'son' and 'damn' and 'y'all' and shouting 'clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose,' all of which have never been part of my vocabulary before...

Anyway, we're down to one more night til Steve comes home. I'm thinking I can for sure finish season two, and possibly even watch all of season three if I start right when the kids go to bed. And then, when he's HOME, I will no longer feel the need to spend every waking moment on my butt in the chair watching FNL. and that will be grand. Because while I don't get a TON of time with Steve most days, I really really miss the little moments I DO get. I hate it when he's gone and I can't wait for him to get home. And even though Steve can do a PERFECT (seriously, perfect) impression of Coach Taylor to give me a FNL fix when I need it, there's no one that can give me the Steve fix when I need THAT. So hurry home, Babe.

ah, tulip festival....

Hard to believe that another tulip festival is over...

This year I was quite sad thinking about only being there for one day. For the past few years, we've been there every day, taking part in lots of different festivities. This year, since Lillian had school and Steve had to work, we had to do it all in ONE day.

and we did.

We arrived in OC at about 1:30 am, put the kids to bed, and unloaded the stuff. We woke up early to make it to the fly-in pancake breakfast, and got there just before the line got to be forever loving long.

and good thing too, because we left there just in time for me to head home and get my costume on. I had a reunion brunch for all the past queens and courts, and of course they prefer that we wear our costumes. So I get ready, rush around, etc. etc. and walk outside to find the kids and help them get dressed. As soon as I walked out there, Lillian came RUNNING to me and with her big huge brown eyes as wide as can be, she says, "MOMMY! You're beautiful! I can't believe it! You're the prettiest mommy EVER! I LOVE it, Mommy!"

and in that moment, my heart melted into a big pile of ooze, and I didn't care one single bit that I can no longer button all the buttons on the jacket, or even THINK about wearing the underskirt that was made for my 18 year old body, or that every year I find something else that doesn't fit. (this year it was my necklace. how weird is that. I gained weight in my NECK.) in that moment, I felt beautiful, because in her eyes, I was. :)

so off I went to the brunch, and then met up with the family a bit later. I checked on the pinkadink stuff in the store, and realized I should head over to Steve's parents to pick up the extra stuff I brought. The stuff is selling REALLY well there! I'm so excited!

and by that time it was time to head over to line up for the parade. They asked those of us at the reunion to walk beside the float that some of the older past queens and court members were on, and since Maria wasn't feeling quite up to it, I recruited Brielle to walk with me, or ride in the buggy at least.

After our walk in the parade Brielle was sleeping, so we sat in the grass and watched the rest of the parade. It felt so good to just SIT for a bit (and it was quite entertaining watching Maria and Tyler and Mel take turns chasing after Hazel). :)

And, ya know, since we only had ONE day at the festival, there was no such thing as a "good time" to get poffertjes. So Maria and I waited in line for probably like 40 minutes or so to get our hands on the deliciousness that comes around ONCE a year. what a shame... And they didn't disappoint. And did the price go DOWN? I thought they were three bucks last year, but this year they were TWO bucks! now come on, wouldn't you rather have TWO orders of poffertjes than ONE ride on a carousel? seriously...

ok, so after filling up (well, not really) on those, we headed back to the house. I think I have some sort of disorder where things flip INSTANTLY. for example, I was totally fine sitting in the sun, in my costume, eating good food, and talking with family, and then in an INSTANT I was like "holy moly. I gotta go. like, now. I gotta go home." and I got tired and hot and crabby and selfish all at once. I grabbed two kids and just left my husband in the middle of his conversation to catch up with us later. Because my disorder kicked in. and I HAD to leave at that very second.

anyway, so we got a little snooze in, and then drove over to Maria's so we could catch the float that gets parked right by her house. Well, since the float is always at the end of the parade, and the parades are always very long, we thought we'd take some time to snap a few pictures. so we head to the side of the house and snap away, trying to corral the kids into the same area, which was quite UNsuccessful. And steve says, "hey...isn't that your float?" and points down at the end of the alley where our float is driving down the street.

well, since we only have ONE day for the festival this year, and this is the ONE chance Lillian gets to ride it, she takes off running and we all follow. Lillian and Josiah were yelling "wait! stop! and sprinting after it, while Maria and I chugged along behind them carrying the babies, and the husbands chugged along with us too I think. So the lady on the float hears the kids yelling, and after chasing it for a couple blocks, we finally see her ask the driver to stop, and we all climbed aboard, exhausted. :)

after the parade, we realized we had to take some better pictures by the tulips, so we headed over to the courthouse where more unsuccessful attempts at getting the kids together occurred. But oh well, we got a few, and can't really blame the kids for not wanting to sit and smile.

and just as we're on our way to the van to go HOME to BED, Lillian reminds Grandma that they didn't get to go on a ride. We had considered buying tickets so the big kids could each go on ONE ride, but then Grandma decided to get them tickets so that all the kids could go on TWO rides. So, off we went to the rides, and good times were had by all. :)

We finally got the kids home, and Steve and I went on a little TF date. and...I think I'll save that for another post, because this one is crazy long and I'm still trying to recover from the busy weekend and I need to go take a nap. or watch friday night lights, or something that doesn't involve getting sore forearms from resting on the edge of the desk while I chronicle the events of the tulip festival, which could just as easily be done by copying and pasting last year's post about the tulip festival.

but there you have it, but without pictures. because like I said, I've got "stuff" to do. :) I'll add the pictures later, or you can check them out on my facebook page. so stay tuned for the tulip festival date night post....coming soon(ish).

nice, Walgreens....nice.

Did you hear that awful commercial on the radio for Walgreens right before Mother's Day? It was terrible. It went something like this:

"We're here with Johnny to prove that we can find something for every mom for Mother's Day here at Walgreens. So tell us, Johnny, what does your mom like to do?"

"My mom likes to tell my dad to get off his duff and help a little more and...."

(interrupting) "OKAY, well, then Johnny, I bet your mom would love this bubble bath for a chance to relax."

It really just made me want to cry. I'm sure it's a reality for many people, but is it really something we need to be mocking on the radio?

This is NOT a post to tell you how wonderful my husband is, because you all already know that. :)

But it IS a post to remind us as wives that people are listening to how we talk about our husbands. So often tv and movies and I guess now radio too make the men out to be these big idiots who don't know anything, and don't do anything, or whatever. And if you haven't noticed it yet, I hope you do now. Men are always wrong on commercials, always the ones looking stupid. Because we all know that if they made women out to look like that, all hell would break loose on the feminist front. And that's GOOD. But it's NOT good for nobody to stand up and say all men are not like that.

So that's my challenge I guess. Ladies, let's make sure we're talking about how great our husbands or fathers or friends are. I'm not sure if I'm more disgusted at the husband in the situation, or the wife for saying that, or Walgreens for mocking it. I know it's not real, that it's a commercial. But somewhere it's real.

and that's sad.

gracie girl

Today we went to the school where Lillian will attend kindergarten next year. It was so strange, being in a school that actually looked really similar to the one I taught in (but didn't sound like it, thankfully). I think about those kids that I used to see every day and I can't believe that all of a sudden Lillian is one of them.

It doesn't help that today she's wearing jeans and a green sweater, with shoes that I wish I could find in my size, and earrings that DANGLE. and a ponytail. No hair bows, no hello kitty, no princesses. She looks like a big girl. The only thing that looks little about her today are the polka dots barely peeking out from behind her sweater.



The whole time we were at the school I kept hearing the words of Ben Folds' "Gracie" in my head. It's a really wonderful song, but if you happen to have a "gracie," like we do, it's even more wonderful.

While we ate lunch I decided to find it on the ipod and listen to it, savoring the images of Lillian at home with me, eating lunch here, playing with her siblings. I think they'll soon be just memories. :(

And as I'm realizing how old she's getting, and how "teenage" she's seeming, she looks at me and says "Mom, I'm gonna listen to it again, k?" and she grabs the ipod and gets us back to "gracie." Because she's old. And she knows how to do it.



'Gracie' by Ben Folds
You can’t fool me
I saw you when you came out
You got your momma’s taste
But you got my mouth

You will always have a part of me
Nobody else is ever gonna see
Gracie girl

With your cards to your chest
Walking on your toes
What you got in the box
Only Gracie knows

And I would never try to make you be
Anything you didn’t really wanna be
Gracie girl

Life flies by in seconds
You’re not a baby
Gracie, you’re my friend
You’ll be a lady soon
But until then
You gotta do what I say

You nodded off in my arms watching TV
I won’t move you an inch
Even though my arm’s asleep

One day you’re gonna wanna go
I hope we taught you everything
You need to know
Gracie girl

There will always be a part of me
Nobody else is ever gonna see
But you and me
My little girl
My Gracie girl

**if you've got 2 minutes and 40 seconds, you can listen to it here.

mother's day

Another mother's day come and gone, and my heart is tired from the range of emotions it experienced once again.

Saturday we had Steve's parents up for the day just to have some time with them for Mother's Day. It was a day filled with errands, yard work, grilling, and Cold Stone. :)

On Sunday after church, Steve and the kids "surprised" me with a trip to Red Robin for lunch. When we got home, we all took nice long naps, I worked on some pinkadink stuff, and then watched a bunch of Friday Night Lights while Steve worked at the computer. (Steve's parents got me the first season, and Steve and the kids got me the other two, a MAJOR surprise on Saturday night. I was SO excited!)

Typing it all out, it sounds a lot like many mothers' blog posts would sound. A good productive weekend with a few surprises and going out to eat. And it was really wonderful. But there's so much I can't explain in a blog post either...like wishing more than anything my mom was a phone call away, or that we could just have her over for the day, or even skype with her on this special day. anything, really...

I'll be honest. I have this 'thing' where I unfairly compare my loss to other people's. Ya know, like 'oh, your grandma died? that's sad, but at least you still have your mom.' It's so stupid really. But it's so real. And I hate that I do it. I even did it to my husband after his grandpa died, and immediately felt like bursting into tears because I couldn't believe I could be so insensitive. It's not like I SAY what I wrote up there. But I say other things. And I certainly THINK LOTS of other things too. It's the part of me that is still grieving the loss of my mom so badly I guess. And it's so unfair of me to feel like MY loss is greater than anyone else's.

Because, while my heart still aches over the loss of my mom, I have so much to be thankful for. After all, I did get 25 wonderful years with her. I was able to experience things with her that my siblings never will. my wedding, the birth of my baby. She was able to make such an impression on my life that I know she lives through me. And lots of daughters can't say that, even if their mom is alive.

I know of people who have lost their mom as an infant, or as a small child, or a teenager. I know people who have lost their wife, and the mother of their children much too soon, and people who are mourning the loss of babies they never got to hold, or didn't get to hold long enough. I know there's a mother who lost her little one yesterday, and a mother who's little one got a second (or third, really) chance at life because of it. And I think about my brother and my sister, who don't have anything to think about on this day besides our mom. No attention given to them like my other sisters and I do. And Mother's Day has to be just as hard on all of them, if not harder. I can't even begin to imagine celebrating Father's Day without Steve, or Mother's Day while trying desperately to conceive a baby, or having HAD a child, who's room now sits empty. They are feelings that I've never had to feel, thankfully, and can't imagine what it would even be like.

So here I sit, realizing that despite the loss of my mom, I'm blessed as can be. I have three wonderful, beautiful, healthy children. I have a husband who appreciates what I do for this family, and tells me he does (every day, but ESPECIALLY yesterday). :) I have a mom who lives in me, who rocked me, raised me, loved me, and challenged me for 25 years. who taught me about God, and what it means to trust Him, in life and in death.

And looking at my kids, I realize how much I learned from her as a mom. Most days I feel like I'm just not doing things quite right. I yell too much, and snuggle too little. They watch TV too much, and read too little. I expect too much, and give too little. But when I look close, and see their hearts for others, the love they have for us, and the way they worship God, I realize I'm doing something right. And it's probably because I learned from the best.

twin car!

Okay, so last year, the kids had discussions about "twin cars" EVERY TIME we'd drive ANYWHERE. I never did blog about it, but it's recently come up again (and again and again) and I'm so fascinated by it that I just have to post.

So keep in mind, this all started when Josiah was TWO.

This is how "twin car" works:

A) Lillian sees a car that is the same colors as, say, Auntie Mel's car, and says, "There's Auntie Mel's twin car!" And Josiah says, "no, that's not her twin car!" because it's not a Ford Fusion.

or....

B) Josiah sees a Honda Odyssey, of any particular color, and says, "There's our twin van!" And Lillian says, "no, that's not our twin van! It's not the right color!"

And it's CRAZY because I really think it's the difference between boys and girls. I mean, I'm not kidding you. Josiah knows the make and model of car of EVERYONE he knows. He may not be able to tell you, but he sure as heck can point it out. And has BEEN able to since he was TWO years old! He pays NO attention to color in the "twin car game," and must only notice the make and model. And Lillian doesn't have a clue what make or model anyone drives. She only knows (and cares about) the color.

anyway, it's totally fascinating finding differences like that between them. Not all the differences are so obvious, but gosh, I about fall over every time Josiah points out someone's car. Elliot's car, Mel's car, Judy's car, every single F-150 that drives by, our neighbor Travis's car, the list never ends....

this little piggy...

HAS A PARTNER!!!

Today is the second day that Brielle has been able to wear the cute little low pig tails that I've been waiting 21 months to see on her.

She looks so big.
She IS so big.
She is so old. my little baby...

Here are a few shots of the new 'do! Don't mind the yogurt on the shirt, or the awkward bang type hairs that are never going to grow, forever giving her a mullet look. :) She looks perfect. Perfectly Brielle. :)





*yes, I'm definitely her mother if I don't see anything weird about posting two almost identical pictures of her. I see the differences, even if you don't. And I really want both on here. :)

busy busy busy

okay, so after my last two posts, I won't be surprised if CPS shows up at my house to make sure I'm taking care of my kids while dealing with my bipolar disorder. (not to mock mental illness, because it's a very real thing...) But sersiously, you're probably wondering after the high and low within just a few days.

But the blahs are nothing a little productivity and time with sisters can't cure! This past weekend was so great!

A couple weekends ago Lillian called Maria to invite her and Hazel to come to Omaha for the weekend. Well, Maria had obligations that weekend, and just to not break Lillian's heart, mentioned something about coming the following weekend. You can't really do that anymore in this house, say something and not follow through. Lillian takes everyone at thier word, so you better believe she was planning on Maria coming this past weekend. So I called Maria inquiring if Lillian was right, all the while Lillian is saying in my ear "yep! Mom! Maria said last time that she'd come next week, so she's definitely coming!" So Maria kept her word and made a last minute trip down here with the Haze. :)

After the kids were in bed, Maria and I went to Lowe's. I had a coupon for 25 dollars off a purchase of 'I-forget-how-many dollars' that expired on that day, so you better believe I was getting the screen door that I'd been waiting a LONG time for. And then I felt like I had a "free" 25 bucks to spend to make a display thing I've been wanting to make for the pinkadink. So I got all the supplies I needed, and off we went, with some serious ambition to save 97 bucks by installing the door ourselves the next day.

Mel came for the day on Saturday, and Steve was gone doing improv at the Renaissance Festival, so the three of us took it upon ourselves to do the door. And we did it. It took almost the whole freaking afternoon, but we did it! And it looks great! The worst part was getting the OLD door off, but after only ONE broken drill bit and a trip to two different neighbors' houses to borrow stuff, we got it done. see?



And I also finished my pinkadink project, and it's so cute! I just can't wait for my hooks to come so I can get all my product up and organized so I have a better idea of what I have and what I need to order.



And THEN, we also changed out the light in the entryway of our house. The two things that bothered us most about our living room were the lighting and the lack of air flow. And this new light helps SO MUCH with the lighting, because there are THREE lights, and they face UP, as opposed to the one light facing down (that didn't look nearly as cool either!). So in one weekend, we have a nice breezy and bright living room! Steve put that light up like a pro. A while back we replaced two ceiling fans in the kids' rooms that either didn't work for the light or the fan, and we got "5 minute fans" (literally, that was the name) and installed them ourselves. And let's just say that it took about 4 and a half hours for the first one, and a bit less for the second one. :) But all that experience with changing out lights and electric work and stuff prepared us for this weekend where my hubby performed like a champ! It probably took about 20 minutes to get this light up once we got started. and we LOVE it!



Okay, so the rest of the house looks a bit neglected, but we feel great about the stuff we got done! now we just have to get our van and our washer fixed, and we'll be set for a while. Not to say that we won't try tackle a few more projects in the coming weekends, but hopefully we'll be done with money-spending projects. :)