shopping sucks

I hate shopping. hate it.

I have tried on about 50 pairs of jeans in the last few weeks, and NONE of them fit like my beloved AE jeans that they no longer make. And I don't think it's because i'm not very far into my "fit again" plan. It's a problem I've had my whole life, even when I WAS fit. Jeans just don't fit me. The waist is huge if the legs fit, and if the waist fits, I wouldn't know it, because I can't get them up past my knees. And I think I have a pretty average size body. Apparently not average shape though, or they'd have more jeans that fit me. And I have a range of sizes that I wear, depending on the brand, and the cut, and all that. So shopping is just torture.

I don't want teenager jeans. I don't want "mom jeans." I just want my favorite boyfriends. they were perfect. (until the upper thigh holes appeared anyway.) they were the only pair I've EVER loved.

and the kicker...
I was out tonight (braving the cold and wind because my need for jeans is consuming my every thought) by myself, browsing through the store, on the phone with my sister. I picked up a pair of jeans for steve that said the right number on them. then I proceeded to try on NINE pairs of jeans in a variety of sizes. And I left with two pairs, not because they fit well or because I liked them, but because I need something to wear on my bottomside.

okay, so anyway, I bought one pair of jeans for steve because they were the right size. and they'll probably fit him, this ONE pair I got. Because that's how it is for guys. They have a size, and that size fits them. and I want to be a guy.

but in the meantime, and forever, I'll continue to search until I find something similar to my favorite boyfriend AE jeans. (and no, their current favorite boyfriend jeans are NOT what I'm talking about.) and I'll cry. big sad teardrop shaped tears over the loss of what will never again be.

and I'll continue to hate shopping.

Oh, but just for the record, I just had steve try on his jeans. and they didn't fit him. Which makes me mad and glad. mad because much of this post (about me wanting to be a guy with a number that fits) doesn't mean anything anymore, and glad because it would have driven me crazy to witness it once again if they would have fit.

drive down dodge

The other day I had to bring Steve's sister and her friend to the airport at like 3:30 in the morning. I actually kind of enjoyed the drive, with barely any other cars (but still way more than I expected...what was everyone ELSE doing at that hour???).

On the way there I took 680, but on the way back I took Dodge. On the way there I was busy chatting away with Christa. But on the way back it was just silent. So I took the time to notice things.

I noticed the instant stomach ache I got at about 24th and Cuming, and was thankful once again that I am a stay at home mom instead of a teacher.

I noticed the breathtaking scene at 30th and Dodge, right by the new Mutual of Omaha area. It's so beautiful with all the trees lit up. Like a winter wonderland. And I was thankful to live in a seasonal state.

I noticed the quiet calm surrounding UNMC (where steve works) and knew that it wouldn't be that calm for much longer. But instead of the negative thoughts that I assumed would be filling my head, I found myself with my hand on the window towards the hospital, just praying for the people who are stuck there and who work there and who visit there. And I was thankful that Steve goes there every day to work his JOB, not for treatments, not for tests, not for sickness.

I noticed that there were a LOT of people working already too, at 4am. Snow plows busy busy busy. Guys shoveling out and salting the bus stop shelters. Cold, terrible jobs, I'm sure. And I thought of their wives at home in bed alone.

And when I got home I was locked out of the house. But I just called my sleeping husband, who let me in from the frigid cold. And then we crawled back in bed together.

And I was thankful first of all that I have a house. And secondly, that even though Steve's job takes a lot out of him, he goes to bed with me every night, and wakes up with me (well, much earlier than me) every morning.

And I am SO thankful to live the life I live. And I loved that little 4am drive down Dodge.

on new years resolutions

I'm really bad at new years resolutions. I've never really made any, because when I try it's just kind of a joke. Oh, well, I take that back. One thing I try to do each new year is see how long I can go flossing my teeth at least once a day. In the last 3 or so years I've done it, I think the longest run was like 16 days or something. I do floss sporadically throughout the year, just not every day. So I like to see how long I can do it daily. anyway, the way this year started off, I didn't even floss on January 1. So that one's kind of out the window.

I'm just really bad at setting goals and reaching them. In my 3 years as a CM consultant, I was always encouraged to set goals and make a plan to reach them and all that. I never did it. I don't like to have set goals. I guess I'm lazy that way.

Or maybe I just like to go with the flow. People have said that about me my whole life actually. It's just my nature to see how things pan out, and not get too worked up about making things happen my way. I think I like that about myself.

usually.

But last year I was inspired by someone who I don't really even know. I have met her twice. She probably has no clue who I am (that was for you Christa) but she has totally inspired me. When I met her she was overweight and beautiful. One of those people who you could tell had a good sense of fashion, and who looked in the clothes she wore. but, she was overweight. anyway, if I remember correctly, she made a motto for herself last year. It was to be "fine in 09" or something. And holy smokes, she did it. She totally changed how she ate, started running and doing other exercises, and she looks CRAZY good. It's incredible. inspiring.

So this year, I decided to not really make any new years resolutions, but I do just want to try to make my life better. I realized for a few months this summer (I think that's when it was), that when I take care of my body and do a little exercise regularly, my whole life changes. My house is cleaner, my laundry is more under control, I pay more attention to what I eat, I play with my kids more, I am a less selfish wife, I have a stronger desire to do daily devotions, I put real clothes on, I might even wear makeup, all sorts of things happen! So don't ask my why I didn't just keep it up. I just didn't.

Part of it was that until recently I had access to C&Cs treadmill and weight set, right here in my home. That made it a lot easier for a cheap-o mom who refuses to pay for a gym membership plus the cost of bringing the kids with me, and probably not being able to take N because he's not mine, and all the complications of doing that route. I think it would TOTALLY work for me to work out at a gym, but it doesn't fit into my life very well with Steve's schedule and my babysitting, etc.

But we recently had Steve's parents bring up his old weight set from high school. After C&C's stuff was out of the storage room, we realized that we might be able to put some sort of exercise equipment in there. So we did. We aren't sure how we want to organize the room yet, but it's in there, and usable.

I'm not going to do anything crazy like forbid myself to drink Diet Coke, or eat snacks, or anything like that. I'm just going to make an effort to get fit. "Fit again in 2010." :) or, if you want to be like Steve, you can say it with a really redneck voice, and change it to "fit in two thousand tin." (yep, I married a comedian.) :) I'm just going to lift weights, and start doing pilates again (if that's okay with you Maria). And the rest will hopefully just happen. And if not, I'll FEEL better anyway. I'm not as concerned about how I look as much as how I feel. I'm ready to feel fit again. okay, and, I guess a little change in how I look would be great. :) As much as I miss my mom, I don't really want to see her body with my head on it in the mirror anymore. She was much older than me when she looked like this...

So there it is. My non-resolution. Hopefully in the first three months there will be especially noticeable changes, seeing as I'll be standing in a little black dress in front of a church full of people in about that much time. But if not, well, then, I just hope I keep going another three months, an another, and maybe even another. and then maybe next year I'll keep "feelin like heaven in 2011" or something equally as cheesy...

we'll see. :)

ups and downs and lots of links

Wowzers....

It's been quite the couple weeks since my last post. I am not quite sure how to document the ups and downs, but I'll do my best.

The first DOWN, was that we figured out we'd be stranded over Christmas because of the snow storm, while every member of both of our families was home for Christmas in Orange City (minus Will, who will be joining the family in a few months). So we were pretty bummed about that, but headed to the store for some movies, treats, and groceries for a Christmas dinner.

The UP came when we decided that there was a slight lull in the storm, and we just might be able to make it to OC after all. So we frantically tried to pack our stuff (I had given myself an extra couple days to do laundry by then, so of course it wasn't done). I'm not sure how ONE shoe can go missing, and a sweater, and a bunch of other random things we could NOT find for the life of us. And it was "Christmas stuff" so we really needed it. In fact, I'm realizing now as I remember that day of packing, that it probably shouldn't be in an "up" paragraph. Oh well. We made it to OC, that's the up.

We had lots of great times playing games and opening presents and playing games and eating food and playing games. Here are a few pictures of our time. To see more pictures, check here:









making the edible nativities






When we finally made it back to Omaha, it was 11:30m at night, and our streets and driveway were COVERED with snow. That would be a DOWN. I'm not even going to post the picture, because you can't tell how much snow there was. The wind made these crazy drifts all around the house, the driveway, etc, so some areas we could see grass, and on the driveway there were feet of snow. It took us til almost 1 am to just make a spot for our van to park for the night. Then the next day, while Christa was here to watch the kids, we finished the scooping. I had to use Josiah's little scoop, but I realized that actually worked great, besides the back ache. But when I tried to use our big one, it was way too heavy, since all the snow had to be lifted and hauled over to the grass. It was quite the way to get me geared up for my 2010 motto...but that's for another post. :)

It's a good thing we scooped when we did, because another DOWN was that we caught a flu bug, and after we got home, spent the next many days (and counting) recovering. Brielle got it first, and threw up most of the day on Tuesday, Josiah got it Wednesday night, I got it Thursday, and Lillian got it Friday. We're still waiting to see if Steve will come out the champion in this battle, of if it will take DOWN our entire family. For about five days now, we haven't been able to keep anything UP or DOWN. And that's probably way more info than you needed to know.

Thankfully, though, and definitely an UP, is that Steve has had a lot of time off recently. He got to use some PTO, plus the holidays just land on the perfect days this year for long weekends. We've been thankful to have him here more often. And we're SUPER thankful that Christa was here the first few days of the flu. She was a lifesaver, as Steve had lots of extra hours at work this week, from being gone so much, and his company changing over to a different company, or something like that.

Here are a few pictures of Christa with the kids:

a trip to McDonalds:




with sick Brielle:








Now that we're finally on the UP and UP, I grabbed the chance to video tape the kids like we do annually. This is Lillian's third year telling the Christmas story. It's a long one this year, and it's in two parts. :) Josiah has a little version as well, prompted by a few questions from mommy and Lillian. Then, because the kids sang Silent Night for the Christmas program this year at church, they wanted to sing that for the camera as well. Here's the links!

Lillian Christmas story part one
Lillian Christmas story part two
Josiah Christmas story
Josiah Silent Night verse one
Lillian Silent Night verses one and combo of two and three
Lillian Silent Night verse four

stranded

Well, it's finally setting in that we'll be stranded in Omaha for Christmas. Earlier in the week I though it might be fun to be stranded, just the five of us, in our HOUSE (ugh, I can't imagine being stranded in our apartment!) for a few days.

But now that it's actually happening, I realize this is SO not how Christmas is supposed to be. We have family from Colorado, Ohio, and Honduras all home for Christmas, and unable to see them. :(

So, while we wait for the weather to clear up (and hopefully still leave on Sat) we have a few things planned:

*making Christmas goodies. really easy, simple, not cute versions, but still....
*ME making the entire Christmas dinner. this should be interesting. :)
*edible nativities for Christmas eve
*sugar cone Christmas trees for Christmas day
*lots of memory, since Santa will be bringing a princess AND a spiderman version. :)
*catch up on laundry I guess? :)
*enjoy these days of strandedness, with 3 healthy children, a roof over our heads, and a savior that was born for us.

suddenly I can't find much to complain about....

Halloween....a little late.

So, "someday" has come, and here's my Halloween post. :)

This year was really fun for Halloween. We were acutally in Orange City, so we just all jumped in the van to hit all the friends and family we could. As far as costumes go...

Lillian decided long ago that she wanted to be Elphaba. And while I loved the idea, I had no clue how I was going to find everything. BUT...after a few trips to the thrift store, and two different wigs from walmart, we scored. :) The only major issue I had was finding green face paint. I mean seriously, how many witch costumes do the sell at Walmart? the answer is close to a million. But the only face paint I could find was like, little tiny kits, to make little tiny scary things on your face. Definitely nothing to cover her whole face. But my mother in law found a recipe for homemade face paint.

On Friday she had her preschool Halloween party. They requested "friendly" costumes, so I was a little concerned about her showing up as a witch. I told her we might have to find a different costume for preschool. That's when she informed me that she had already discussed it with the teacher and the Auntie Anne's pretzel lady on pretzel day. She told them that Elphaba was not really scary, and that she just tries to help the animals, so she wouldn't be scary. The pretzel lady, I'm sure, got a total kick out of it, because apparently the two of them had a lengthy discussion about WICKED. :)

So on Friday while I was trying to do Lillian's makeup, it kind of kept soaking into her skin. it was a little strange, but in the end, she had a nice even greenish tint to her skin. Perfect. See?



oh, but wait...you couldn't even tell in the pictures! So then I decided that just for the scrapbook's sake, I'd picnik a few, just to give her the right look. And THAT really was perfect. see?



Oh, she was so cute. When we got to school, she was DELIGHTED to find her friend Alyssa dressed as a princess! She begged her to please be Glinda, instead of a princess, but of course Alyssa had no idea what that even meant, and insisted on being a princess. Lillian was HEARTBROKEN. (I told her that she could still pretend that Alyssa was Glinda, even though Alyssa thought she was a princess.) :)

Here they are: Elphaba and Glinda



So after school on Friday, we all headed up to Orange City. On Saturday we got the other kids dressed too, and all went trick-or-treating. While I was applying Lillian's makeup THIS time, Carla suggested I use a little makeup brush or something to get more paint on her skin, and to spread it out a little more (it was really clumpy because I hadn't used a lot of extra water like I had the day before). So we did that. And oh my. She looked like Elphaba the leper, with nasty, green, clumpy, disgusting skin.




and that's something that even picnik couldn't fix. :) So I apologize for the freaky looking skin for the rest of these pictures. Just pretend it looks like it did on Friday. :)

Josiah's costume was a frog, and good grief, have you ever seen a cuter little froggy?





Brielle got to use the costume that my mom made when Lillian was a year old. So that was really special. and she loved it.



We got to go with sweet pea Hazel too. Brielle was kinda the odd one out with no green...



And just for kicks, here are a few more photos, because that's the best part of Halloween (besides the candy of course, but the pictures last much longer, especially in this house!!!). :)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Since we decided to do a digital letter this year, we thought we should at least try to make it “fun.” So…Ready to sing?

In the year of two thousand nine, the good Lord gave to us…12 months in our house, 11 days of craft shows, 10 months of dance class, 9 million diapers, 8 months of freedom, 7 birthday parties, 6 grandkids playing, 5 KILOMETERS RUN! 4 days in Austin, 3 decades, 2 jobs for Steve, and a family that’s blessed beyond words.

12 months in our house:
2009 was the first full year in our house, and the best part is that now it really is ours! We were blessed to be “housesitting” for some friends of ours, and we ended up buying it! We loved the house to begin with, but in the last couple months, since it’s been OURS, we’ve really enjoyed making it our own. We have also realized how many little expenses come with owning a home, and for that reason, we decided to be smart (read: cheap) this year and send our Christmas cards digitally. (we know you just throw them away anyway…)

11 days of craft shows:
It’s crazy to think that last year at this time I was just starting to think about having my own business making hair bows and other girls’ hair accessories, and this year it’s in full swing! I started ‘the pinkadink’ in February of this year, and it’s been quite the journey. I had a table at 11 different craft shows this fall! It’s been fun, and a great way to get the word out, but man, I’m tired.  To keep busy til next “craft show season” I just started my very own website (www.thepinkadink.com) so I can still be taking orders! I love it! The sad news to share is that I will no longer be selling Creative Memories products after this year. I just had too much going on with the two businesses, and it was time to let one go.

10 months of dance class
Lillian had ten months of dance class in 2009, and while we’re sad to say it, she has decided it’s not for her. I think before preschool she really needed that class as a social outlet sort of, and now that she gets that from school every day, she really lost interest. It sure is nice to have no plans for Mondays though!

9 million diapers
Another adventure we found ourselves on this year was potty training! Josiah did GREAT and is fully trained, except for nights and naptime. But while Josiah was decreasing our diaper changing duties, Brielle was still going strong. And now she has a little competition. I started watching a little guy from church who is now almost 6 months old every day, and between the two of them, I feel like it’s been a 9 million diaper kind of year.

8 months of freedom
This summer was bitter sweet for us, as we knew that our life of freedom (sleeping in, staying in our pjs all day if we wanted, eating, playing, everything at our leisure) were dwindling down. We loved our 8 months of freedom, but in September Lillian started High 5, which is a 5 day/half day preschool for 5 year olds. She LOVES it, and in just a few months has grown by leaps and bounds!

7 birthday parties
This year Brielle turned ONE, Lillian turned FIVE, and Josiah turned THREE, and between the three of them, we had a host of birthday parties! Brielle’s favorite activities at this age are: screaming, hitting, playing in the toilet, and eating cheese! She’s a little pistol, and we’re learning a lot, as neither of the other two kids were like her at all. Lillian’s favorite activities are: watching cartoons, coloring, practicing reading, playing with the neighbors, and singing Taylor Swift songs. Josiah loves playing trucks, trains, baseball, “honey and sweetie,” and jumping off the stairs. While life seems to be flying by, we truly enjoy this time with the little ones around.

6 grandkids playing
In Feb of this year my niece was born! Hazel Faye joined the family and we couldn’t be happier. She is my first niece, so it’s been fun giving her all sorts of pinkadink stuff. That makes SIX grandkids on the Smits side, and while we’re still flying solo on the Hydeen side, the family will be growing next year! In April, Steve’s sister Erika is getting married to Will, and Steve and I will both be in the wedding. I’m looking forward to an in-law on the Hydeen side!

5 kilometers run
In May, Maria and I ran the 5K together at Tulip Festival. It was my first race since high school, and it turns out my body is STILL not a fan of running. It was fun to set a goal and reach it though. And while 3.2 miles or whatever might not seem like that big of a deal to YOU, it was to me.

4 days in Austin
Steve still keeps busy with 88improv, and once again, his team traveled to Austin, Texas for the Out Of Bounds festival there. He always has a good time performing and spending time with his friends. They don’t seem to get much time to just hang out here, so that’s something they really enjoy.

While he was busy in Austin, the rest of us went camping with some of the Smits gang. It was our first (out of 3) camping trips that wasn’t full of thunder, lightening, and RAIN this year! We did, however, hear a train every few hours in the night (a LOUD train, which was very CLOSE to us) and poor Josiah got freaked out by the excessive mooing from the cows in the morning. But hey, that’s what you get when camping in Iowa.

3 decades
On September 1st, Steve turned THIRTY! Because of a late labor day this year, we were glad to have him home on his birthday (usually he’s in Austin)! To celebrate, we brought cake to the improv show for the team and all the audience members. Lillian and Josiah got to go with me, so it was a fun night for everyone. Steve and I also celebrated earlier in the summer when we went to see Coldplay in concert here in Omaha. It was such a great night, and we wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Another fun outing we had as a couple this past summer was finally getting to see WICKED! I’d been wanting to see that show for YEARS now, and finally got to go! It was incredible.

2 jobs for Steve
Steve has actually had the same job, just at two different locations this year. But if you ask me, it seems an awful lot like two completely different jobs. He started the year at Methodist Hospital where he had a small property and was able to call most regular guests by name. Now he’s at the University of Nebraska Medical Center. While it was a major promotion and an honor to be chosen to get that job, it’s been quite a headache (literally) for him. It’s the biggest contract that his company has, and he works lots and lots of hours and (if you ask me) does not really get the appreciation that he deserves. But in this time of economic uncertainty and such, we feel so blessed that Steve has a job that can provide for our family

And a family that’s blessed beyond words
It’s truly amazing to us that God has known the whole plan for our little life forever. And as He slowly reveals the path to us, we realize that He really does know what He’s doing. And we’re so thankful for all He’s given us, especially in sending his son. I’m not sure there are too many things I’d give my kids up for, if any. It truly makes me realize what a sacrifice it was, to send His son, and watch him suffer on this earth. We serve a loving God, and I’m so thankful for that special birth so long ago. It was for us…