1. Make a plan with the kids, telling them you are going to mow while they play outside.
2. Run to catch them before they head across the street to ask the neighbor if she can play with them.
3. Be the most horrible mom ever by making them wait to go out while you put your socks and shoes on.
4. Put the one year old in a stroller to watch. Be sure she has toys.
5. Pick up the sticks in the front yard while contemplating how on earth the tree could possibly lose that many freaking sticks since the last time the lawn was mowed, which wasn't THAT long ago.
6. Begin mowing front section.
7. After two rows, tend to an owie tummy. Encourage pooping.
8. Resume mowing.
9. After two more rows, wipe a poopy butt. My children have OPPOSITE bowel issues, and it baffles me daily.
10. Resume mowing.
11. After two more rows, wipe the poopy butt again.
12. Thank messenger for relaying all the messages of his sister's poopy butt.
13. Remind said poopy butt owner that pre-school is just around the corner and pre-school teachers don't have time to wipe poopy butts. But thank her for not just making her underwear all dirty and letting mommy help, even though we DO have a functioning washer and dryer...but that's another story.
14. Resume mowing.
15. Complete the front section.
16. Stop to dump the bag of grass. Curse at all the grass that falls out while you detatch the bag.
17. Move stroller to next section.
18. Explain to older kids how much lawn you have left to mow.
19. Resume mowing.
20. After about two rows, stop mower to pick up dropped toys for baby.
21. Resume mowing.
22. After about two rows, explain to older kids that NO, you are not done. See all the long grass? Please just let mommy mow for a while without stopping.
23. Resume mowing.
24. After about ten rows (yay kids!) stop mower to dump bag of grass. Curse at all the grass that falls out while you detatch the bag. again.
25. Resume mowing.
26. After a few more rows, stop mower to move stroller, and wonder to yourself why you didn't just to that when you were dumping the bag.
27. Take note of how croaking hot you are, even though it was chilly when you came out. Much time has passed.
28. Remove t-shirt and pray that no one notices your weird tank-top thing with some form of bra insert that...well...just doesn't do much.
29. Resume mowing.
30. **TMI ALERT! READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION** Reminisce about the time in your life where you could just mow in the front yard of your Orange City house in your swimming suit and not feel inappropriate about it. That time is not now. Birthing and nursing three babies has taken it's toll, and real bras are forevermore necessary. *my apologies for the visual image I just created. :)
31. Mow directly next to the house and watch all the millions of crickets jumping for their lives.
32. Notice how you don't even slow up for them. Keep right on mowing and almost laughing at the little critters. Then feel suddenly sad at your lack of concern for God's creatures.
33. Stop mower to dump bag of grass. Curse at all the grass that falls out while you detatch the bag. again.
34. Resume mowing.
35. Finish final section of lawn by the garden. Use all your will power to not stop the mower AGAIN to grab a handful of jellybean tomatoes that are tempting you to stop and have a snack. KEEP ON MOWING.
36. Finish mowing final section.
37. Stop mower to dump bag of grass. Curse at all the grass that falls out while you detatch the bag. again.
38. Place mower back in garage.
39. Save the trimming for your husband. :)
40. Go enjoy a nice cold diet coke. (gotta go...)
40 steps, huh? I guess I'm not surprised. I could have easily titled this post "How to do ANYTHING with 3 (awake) kids, ages 4, 2, and 1."
I love my life. :)