Merry Christmas

{almost} wordless wednesday

Lillian's been busy.and if you could smell through a computer, you'd smell my perfume. :)

Hopefully this type of thing won't become habit...or Josiah may end up like I did many Christmases ago...(no, my bangs are not pulled back. they are gone. But Joel was so proud of himself.)

Easy Gift Idea

I'm not sure if you have a list of teachers, etc. that you need Christmas gifts for, but here's a really cute idea. I had a lot of the ingredients in the house already, so it was quite easy! and if you don't want to make the cocoa mix, you can just put some swiss miss in "cone" and it still works!

Hot Cocoa Ice Cream Cones:
materials for each one-
2 cone shaped cellophane bags (cake frosting bags) *the 12 inch size*
2 clear rubber bands
hot cocoa mix
mini chocolate chips
mini marshmallows
red candy for the 'cherry'

Instructions:
1. Put 3/4 cup cocoa mix in one frosting bag.
2. Tie off the bag with rubber band and cut extra part of the bag off and flatten the top so it doesn't stick up
3. Place the 'cone' in another frosting bag.
4. Add 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips
5. Add 1/4 cup mini marshmallows
6. Put the red candy on the top and tie with the other rubber band. then you can tie a ribbon or whatever on it too for decoration.

If you want to make your own cocoa mix, here are the ingredients for each cone:
3 T. sugar
3 T. powdered coffee creamer
3 T. dry milk
2 T. cocoa

Makes 2 9 oz. servings. Mix with hot water.

*make sure you tell the recipient how many servings it makes! the homemade mix makes 2 servings, but the swiss miss is probably more (check the package).

ALSO...the frosting bags can be a little spendy. But... if you get them at Hobby Lobby with a 40% off coupon (printed from the website), that can really cut the cost.

anyway...thought you might be able to use this!

'girlie stuff'

One of the reasons I love being a mom to girls is that I get to make fun stuff like this. This is Maddie's birthday present. She's our neighbor. I have LOVED getting to know her mom these past few months, and I can't wait til their 3rd baby is born in Feb (hopefully not sooner...please pray for Jenny and the baby). Happy 4th birthday Maddie.

anyway, we started her out with 3 bows. I'm hoping to get a little better as I make more, but she gets my first 3. :) it was so fun.

this was super easy to make, it just takes some time, and some skill with a hot glue gun, for any moms out there who want a cute idea for their girls.

Don't buy your bows at Pink Hippo, ladies. we can MAKE them! :)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

So, we decorated for Christmas.

Here's what happened.

A couple weeks ago I had my CM open house. So, since I wanted to make the house look nice, I took all our little piles and put them on my dresser. I promise, they were all little. But I guess there were quite a few. So the result was a dresser full of stuff that had probably once been sorted but not put away, and now needed to be resorted. Receipts, mail, a few pieces of the neighbor's mail (sorry, Walt), junk, Lillian's Sunday school papers, magnets (oh, did I mention that I totally cleared off the fridge? totally. everything gone. white. did you know my fridge is white?), and tons of other little odds and ends.

I love decorating for Christmas. My mom loved Christmastime, so I guess it makes me feel like that's something we can remember her by. Although it's sometimes hard, and certainly NOT the same since she's been gone, it's still one of my favorite things.

So I did something dumb. well, smart, but...you know. dumb.

I promised myself that I would not decorate for Christmas until I cleaned off my dresser. ugh.

So on Tuesday I was REALLY wanting to decorate. But I wanted to do it as a family, of course. So I busted my butt all day so taht right when Steve got home we could get the stuff out and decorate before supper, because on Tuesdays he has 88improv meetings after supper. So I trasnformed into a sorting machine, making lots more mini piles, actually put them AWAY, and even shredded the mail that needed to be shredded (never mind the fact that I left the tiny scraps on the carpet when I spilled a little...or a lot...when I emptied the shredded paper basket)! I cleaned the living room where most of the decorations would be. I even dusted. I hate dusting.

Steve got home at 3ish I think, which was perfect. We had enough time to actually get it done before supper! but then Steve wanted to go running. He's thinking about training for a marathon, so I need to be supportive. Sure, he could go running. And he said he'd be back in 30 minutes. still enough time. But by the time he greeted the kids, changed his clothes, stretched, etc. it was getting a little later. But we could still do it. I was sure.

So I put Brielle down for her afternoon nap about 23 minutes after Steve left for his run, so she wouldn't be fussy and slow us down. About 30 mintues after that, Steve came home. (did you do the math?) hmm....

Well, by that time, it was close enough to supper time to start supper, so that we didn't have to break for supper during the decorating part. Thanks, Carla, for the leftovers that I only had to heat up so we'd still have enough time...

enough time...

enough time...

(I'm feeling slightly like Jessie Spanno at this point, and probably acting too much like her too.)

We finished supper in record time. Lillian ate her food. I'm not kidding. no games, no fighting. she ate. by herself. So I quickly cleaned up the dishes while steve got the boxes from the garage. He actually only had a phone meeting that night. perfect. a little more time. but wait, is Steve checking his email? are you kidding me? we are supposed to be DECORATING! *although I have ALL DAY(sort of) to check my email, and steve has very few moments of his day to do so, I still had the nerve to be annoyed that he took TWO minutes to do what he wanted.

And then I hear it. A distant crying sound.

So all 5 of us try to decorate the living room. Brielle mostly helps by taking away precious hands that could be helping, or fussing/crying/screaming so loudly that we can't hear our Christmas playlist anyway. Not exactly waht I had in mind.

And as we're doing the nativity scene, Lillian insists on putting her Hello Kitty in the stable. "Mom, why do you think EVERYONE came to see baby Jesus? Even Hello Kitty!" "well, he's our savior, so the people that knew that wanted to see him." "Look Mom! Hello Kitty is even there by him!" not a big deal, I tell myself. why can't Hello Kitty be there for now. She'll want it up on the tree in a few minutes, when it's ready for ornaments. So I decide to take a few pictures, and promise myself that I won't be so annoyed by this in a few days. (I was right.)

The tree was ready.

Steve had to run and do his phone meeting. he locks himself in the bedroom. the kids go totally crazy. totally crazy. loud. I don't even know what I did to pass that time. I know I refused to let myself cry, but that's all I remember.

Steve got done with the meeting, so we get out the ornaments and show the kids thiers, and help them hang a few up.

But...it's past bedtime already. And I had promised Christmas cookies. So I get out the pre-made things from the fridge, and heat the oven. I'm feeling so rushed, but I want them to be good cookies, so I even take the time to dip them in the sugar bowl before I put them on my nastly looking stone. it looks particularly nasty this night, but I hear that the worse they look, the better they cook....or bake I guess. So I quickly set the cookies on the stone, and stick them in.

In a few short moments, I start smelling them. And they smell like Christmas. And I remember what this night was supposed to be. And I decide it still can be. I put the need-to-be-in-control-and-not-care-about-enjoying-anything part of me (which RARELY exposes itself, but was QUITE exposed this particular night) away, and reverted back to the usual go-with-the-flow part of me that I don't usually have problems with, so I'm not sure why I ever put it away anyway.

We eat our cookies by our pre-lit tree (best invention ever) with about 6 ornaments on it. And I give Lillian a few more odds and ends to do so she feels like she's a part of it. And I took pictures because I wanted to remember this. all of this.

SO...we finally get the kids in bed and I'm ready to "really" decorate the tree. I'm feeling a little more peace by this time, mostly thanks to the sugar cookies. I hate that about myself. :)

Steve gets a call from work. He has no one to work the following day, and has to spend the remainder of the night on the computer adjusting schedules and calling people.

So I cranked up Love Acutally (best soundtrack ever), made myself some hot cocoa with an Andes mint in it, and decorated the tree. just how I wanted to. and I thought about my mom, and how she would have reacted. probably not the way I did. And I enjoyed a few minutes by myself, smelling, and tasting, and seeing Christmas.

and I think it turned out alright. not what I was hoping for, but it was alright in the end. if you want to see a few more pictures, click here.

Wordless Wednesday

Tag

My sister tagged me, and this is how it works:

1. go to the 4th folder in your pictures folder
2. post the 4 picture in that folder
3. Explain your picture
4. Tag 4 friends to do the same!

And here's my picture: I actually cheated because my 4th folder is my blog folder, and you've already seen those pictures, so I went to my 5th folder.

This picture is one of the Christmas cards I have done this year. It is of the Pals family, and I hope they don't mind that you're all seeing it. :)

I design (or copy a design you like) Christmas photo cards for $15. Then you can either print them as photos to mail to your Christmas list people, or you can just email it to everybody for free! :) I have lots of other designs I've done on my facebook page.

OR...if you love doing this type of thing yourself, you can order the software (Storybook Creator Plus) from me through Creative Memories! You can make anything from scrapbooks to greeting cards to baby announcements to birthday invitations to...well, I'm sure you get the point. :) I LOVE this program, but it should come with a warning about addiction!! It's wonderful!

Okay, so now I have to tag four people...
I chose: Renee, Alison (she has a photography business, so her pictures are always great!), Cody, and Sara!

This is fun! :)

Self Esteem

Lillian: What color are my teeth?
Steve: White. What color are MY teeth?
Lillian: White.
Andrea: What color are MY teeth?
Lillian: White. Dark white.
(it's okay, I knew that was coming. that's why I asked.) :)

later that night....

Lillian: Mommy, you know that thing that Brielle was in, in your tummy before she was born? When is that gonna go down?

thaaaaaaaannnnks. :)

Papa's and Pacifiers

Just a few things I have to share...

Last weekend we went to Orange City for my CM open house and to help my sister get moved. The kids got lots of time at Papa's house, and this is how they spent most of it:

Over and over and over.

(did you see Josiah at the very end? it's hard to tell in the video, but they are FLYING down those stairs. Josiah is probably scared for his life that Lillian is gonna crash into him!)

They did alright sleeping there though, which is surprising considering our nights at our house lately. Lillian is at that awful transition of only kind of needing a nap. So when she gets one it's great, but then she doesn't sleep at night. And when she doesn't get one, she's...a monster. :)

But the biggest problem is that we took Josiah's pacifier away. When he turned one, we only let him have it for naps and bedtime. And the plan was to take it away when he turned two. Well, he turned two. And I am the one who didn't want to take it away. He just slept so good! So we decided that we'd "leave them at Papa's house" next time we were in OC.

well...before we actually got around to that, we lost them. for real. gone. both of them.

So I was freaking out in my head about how he was going to handle this. And he actually did okay. I freaked out more than he did. He only asked ONE time for his "ippee." So we decided that we'd just be done with them. But we HAD to find them before he did, or we'd go through the 'taking away' part again (which, I realize, is harder for me than him...but still). Well, I found the one that he used most. I forget where it even was. But I found it first. And I hid it in Steve's underwear drawer.

But...every night that he's laying awake talking, or singing, or especially crying, I just want to go to that drawer and grab the dear little ippee and give it to him. just so the poor kid will sleep! But I resist, every night. (I ALMOST gave in last night, though. But I am stronger than the paci. I am stronger than the paci...)

And enough time has passed that I can actually talk to him about it. So when he gets Brielle's paci, I say, "Josiah, where's your pacifier?" and he says "all gone!" It's so cute.

BUT...today...

he found the other one. Luckily, he just laughed when I took it out of his mouth and threw it, literally. I said, "You're too big for a pacifier!" and we LAUGHED! and I took a picture of him with it to show him how "silly" he looks. and he LAUGHED again.

So, hopefully, the return of the "ippee" is short lived. I just put him down for his nap and he didn't ask for it. So let's hope tonight goes the same...

if not, there are now TWO pacifiers in Steve's underwear drawer tempting me like the devil itself....ugh....

Slow to speak

I love my oldest daughter dearly, but she's at that age, you know? That age that's sometimes the best age EVER and it's so wonderful, and other times...it's that age that's so hard to enjoy.

Yesterday I got lunch ready (hot dogs and cheese cubes, a perfect representation of my kitchen skills) and called her up from her Barbie house downstairs.

"Let's eat!"
"What are we having?"
"Hot dogs."

She comes to the table and sees the cheese cubes.

"And cheese?"
"Yes, and cheese."
"But Mommy..." *ugh, here it comes. I'm so sick of the whining.* "But Mommy, I want a stick!"

I am so annoyed. Why does she care if it's string cheese (sometimes referred to as cheese sticks) or cheese cubes? It's cheese! It's all cheese! So I put on my best calm-but-very-frustrated voice.

"Lillian, it's making Mommy very frustrated that you whine about everything lately. Why can't you come to the table and say, 'Wow, Mom! Thanks for the hot dogs and cheese! This looks great!'? We are having cheeses cubes today, not string cheese. And I don't want to hear anymore whining about it. Do you understand?"

And she is so sweet. She looks at me with a silly little smile and says, "Mommy, you don't understand me!"

What? what does she mean? and why is she smiling like that?

"Mommy, I just mean that I want a stick! to poke my cheese!"
"oh, a toothpick?"
"yes! I was just asking for a toothpick! You didn't understand me Mommy!" (HUGE smile. She's not even the slightest bit mad or even annoyed that I freaked out for nothing. and I am embarrassed.)

and the apology begins....

Dear God,
Help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Dancing Queen

Well, I guess she'd probably prefer Dancing "Princess." :)

I have to hurry...Dancing with the Stars is almost on. See, I've always wanted to be a dancer. And I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I become famous, they'll want me on that show and I'll learn how. And I'll be a dancer. So I'm trying to think of how to become a celebrity. because I want to be a dancer, not a celebrity.

When I was little I wanted to be in dance. I never was. we didn't have the money I'm sure. I've been wanting to put Lillian in some sort of dance classes for a while now, but I didn't want to have to pay crazy amounts of money for the classes and the costumes they only wear once. I just figured she wouldn't be able to do it....and she'd grow up.... and write a blog post about not having enough money to take dance classes when she was little. :)

But I was recently talking to another mom at my church who's daughter takes classes at a Chrstian dance/martial arts studio. The classes are reasonably priced and the teacher makes the costumes so you don't have to pay so much for them! They focus on movement that is modest and focused on worship rather than performance. It sounded perfect!

I went home and told Steve, and he was all for it too! There is a guy that Steve works with who lots his wife to breast cancer around the same time my mom died. And this guy (also named Steve) has his kids in dance and stuff too, although they are much older than our kids. So anyway, the Steves talk often, and my Steve was telling him about this studio I had heard about. Turns out the couple who own the studio are very good friends of his, and he used to be on the board of trustees (or whatever) for their previous dance company. We couldn't believe it! (All you OC folk probably don't think it's that big of a deal, but this kind of thing never happens to us in Omaha.) :)

So we signed her up.

If you know my sweet daughter at all, she's not big on new things. :) So she was a little nervous at first, but her friend Emma came over and said "it's weawy fun in dere." and that was all it took!

AND if you know my daugher, you probably also know that she's not very coordinated. She has always been the kind of kid who could talk for hours about jumping and playing and skipping and running, and tumbling. But when it came down to it, she couldn't acutally DO those things. :) But there she was in her class, doing her very best to look like her teacher, and move so gracefully, and, well...be a ballerina of course. :) it was wonderful. beautiful.

And Lillian loved it.

And Josiah did too. He was quite proud of his big sister, and sat there by the door, opening it and closing it to check on her every few minutes. And when he got scolded for that, he just banged and banged on the windows to show his sister he was watching. and really, what could I do? I was nursing Brielle. and besides, it was kinda cute. :)

so her little shoes are in tip top condition. I hope they get lots of use. I hope she loves dancing. and loves tumbling. and loves worshipping. and if she doesn't love the dancing thing (like I want her to), then I hope she finds another way she loves to worship. And I'll get over it. :) and try again with Brielle.... :)

Thank you, Miss Diana, for your ministry.

Here we go again?

wow...it's been quite the few days.


Lillian had croup last week. So that makes me feel a little better about that video that I posted. That very same night she woke up with a fever of 103 and that horrible barking cough I have learned to HATE over the last few years.


And of course Josiah picked it up too.


And then Brielle!


Now, if you have never had a child with croup, I will say that it's one of the cutest sicknesses your kids can have. Thier voices get all scratchy and thier cry is much softer (thankfully). And when you know they aren't in a lot of pain, they sound so stinking cute!


anyway, so Brielle picks up the croup from all the kisses and hugs we tried so desperately to keep away from her. And her fever was up at about 102 on one of the days (they are all running together for me now). and then it was down at about 100 for a while, and then on Friday morning, really early, it was up again past 102. So I called the phone nurse just to ask how bad it was that her fever was NOT going away and it was so high.


After telling about 3 people all Brielle's and my information (why do they ask that so many times?) and many many questions that I could not answer (I never thought I'd be one of the mom's who doesn't know how much her kids weighs just because she has three kids. I am.), I was talking about her symptoms. I said she was breathing a little faster than usual. So she had me count her breaths.


"We're going to count for 30 seconds, so it will feel like a long time."


*Lillian has asthma, so I am very familiar with all this breath counting busines.


"are you ready? go."


1....2....3....


25...26....27....say stop. please say stop. I know from Lillian that we're getting too high....28...29...30...31.


"stop."


As I say 31 I know I should grab the carseat. I know that 60 breaths per minute is way too fast for Lillian. I have to bring her in. And it turns out that for babies, even 50 breaths is too fast. So I feel a little urgency in her voice as she basically tells me to hang up and get her to Children's. Luckily, (luckily?) I have been told this many times before and I'm able to keep my cool.


I throw on some dirty jeans, grab a piece of gum, tell Steve to enjoy his extra few hours of sleep (he's usually getting up for work at this time. it's 5:00), and head to the ER. And this time it takes only like 8 minutes to get there, as opposed to the 28 from Bellevue.



Warm steamy air and also cold air are great for lungs when battling croup, so by the time we get there, Brielle sounds pretty good. But her temp is still way too high and her breathing a little too fast. but her oxygen is okay. so we wait for the doctor. and wait. and wait. and wait.


I'm getting really sleepy by this point, but the events go something like this....

he comes, checks her out, tells us to get a chest xray. we do that, go back to our room, and wait some more. he comes back. The xray is better than he thought. he was expecting pneumonia. it's bronchitis. he'll get our discharge papers and write up a perscription.


yay! let's go home.


I get her in her carseat. buckled up. ready to run as soon as those papers come. she's finally sleeping. I need to get home before the big kids wake up.


different man walks in. says he needs one more temp check. what?


I undo her buckles, get her out, take her clothes off, spread her cheeks. poor thing. she was finally sleeping, and then all this. but we finally got the papers. and ran...to Amigos, of course, for a couple sausage and egg burritos!


Brielle screamed the whole way home, which was only wonderful because it made the pharmacist hurry. :) we got home, ate our burritos, and put Brielle down to sleep.


and the kids woke up. :) yep. they did. I knew they would, so it was okay. I gave them sugar cereal because I wanted to be on thier good side.


Will you please go downstairs and watch tv so Mommy can sleep while Brielle is sleeping? Will you please come up to quietly tell me if you need something instead of yelling?

thank you.


and they do. and I slept til 11:30. I have good kids. :) and they like tv.

*please don't turn me in for child neglect.

Brielle is doing a little better now. she had a TERRIBLE night (anyone familiar with Augmentin? does it cause restlessness?), but Steve and I took turns sleeping and cleaning today. Let's just hope that this whole ER business is done with her...but isn't she a trooper?




I think I made a promise in an earlier post about not making them so long. sorry, this one is long. no more promises.

So I found THIS...

on our screen door. Lillian was eating lunch and said "Mommy! Come here! You have to see this! A HUGE bug just flew on our door, and it's INSIDE!"

*thankfully she was wrong. it was outside.

but still....

Click on it and see it bigger! I'm posting this video of it too, but it just doesn't do it justice. This thing is creepy. it has a beak.

make sure you have the volume turned up. Lillian was quite the support for me during this whole thing. :)

if you want more info like we did, here it is.

the stuff history's made of

Remember in my first post how I wrote that this blog is mostly for me? :) Well, I have some things that I want to say, and want to remember, and don't really want to be judged for them. So if you read this post, please read it with an open mind. :)

I didn't vote.

I know that Mr. Herman and a number of others would be disappointed to know that I didn't do my duty and participate. :) But I wasn't registered to vote, and kind of used that as my excuse I think, to tell people a reason, but not really have to go into it. But I felt really strongly about not voting. Here's why.

I don't like talking about politics because I've gotten the impression that most people are closed-minded. So I watched a little bit of the debates, read a few of the emails that I got about politics, etc....but I only really know a few things about each candidate. I didn't want to know too much, just in case I would find myself in a conversation with one such closed-minded person, and feel like they were not hearing me, or that because I didn't agree with what they were saying I was somehow less of a person. Here's what I know.

I know that JMC is a hero. I know he suffered greatly for his country, and that's incredibly respectable. And I knew that he is pro-life. And I know that he chose Palin as a running mate, and although I'm not sexist, I do think that politics at a national level without any experience is something that might be harder than she thinks if she were to become president. But I really liked the idea of a woman in such a high position, I'll admit.

I know that Obama was quite inspiring. And I know that Obama supporters kind of freaked me out with thier enthusiasm, because I wondered how much they acutally knew, and how much they were just 'cheering at the pep rallies.' I know that he called for change, whatever that means. And I know that he is pro-choice. And I know that he cares about the poor, and healthcare for all people. And I thought it would be incredible if a country that used to believe that African Americans were less than human could vote one into the highest office our country has.

Growing up in Orange City most of my life, I kind of got the impression that Rublican=Christian. It's true that usually the replublican candidate stands for things we consider "Christian," like being pro-life or thier support of heterosexual marriage. But I think my mom is the first one to put in my head that a democratic candidate might just have some ideas worth thinking about too. She counseled with a lot of people who needed help from the government, and all these "Christian" republicans had no intentions of trying to improve things. I always wondered it she was a closet democrat. :)

So I had this battle in my head...wondering which items were important enough to sway my vote one way or the other. Is abortion the only thing I should consider? (for many people it is, and understandably I think.) But Bush was against abortion and it's still happening. How much power does the president acutally have over certain matters? What if the judges he appoints make decisions we weren't expecting? What about all the other issues that I think are important?

Of course I'm anti-abortion. But if I didn't have Christ as my Savior would I be? would I value life like I do? and here's a whopper...I don't think the government has the right to say that marriage should be between a man and a woman. (gasp!) I haven't said that to very many people, but it's waht I believe. I think that heterosexual marriage makes sense in the Christian world, we know that's how God intended marriage. But lots of people in this country aren't Christians. And if things were reversed, and I lived in a country that didn't allow soemthing I truly believed in just becuase of certain people's religious views, I would be incredibly angry.

But since I AM a Christian, is it my duty to vote for a president who will implement the things I believe are true? OR...is it the Christian's job to be DIFFERENT FROM THE WORLD (thanks, very wise person who helped me realize this even more this week...)!?!? The church is NOT supposed to look like the rest of the world. If we have all these "Christian" laws because the evangelical vote won, then people get a distorted view of Christ! And isn't that what we are to be? the image of Christ this world so desperately needs? And is that what the world is getting when we vote pro-choice? not really. that's just a tiny part of waht makes me a Christian.

I have already seen people that I consider to be strong Christians act or say some not-so-Christlike things in this post-election time. I thought McCain's speech last night was more than impressive. He called all of us to JOIN TOGETHER in this time. That is what our country needs. Let's be stronger than we thought we could be. Let's be united! We all have the same president, whether or not we voted for him. THIS is the time to be Christlike.

I just taught a sunday school lesson to my 3rd-5th graders about the 5th commandment-Honor your father and mother. But really, that commandment calls us to honor all those God places in authority. I remember my mom telling me that her dad used to pray for the president every night in their home, whether or not it was someone he voted for or supported. He knew that the person in the role of the president of the USA needed a lot of prayer. and I've never forgotten that. and I pray for the president, even when the world is mocking and disrespecting him. (sidenote-I'm so ready for Bush to be out of office just so the poor man can get away from the disprespect he's endured for the last many years.)

If I had registered, I'm still not sure who would have gotten my vote. And I didn't want to choose someone becuase "I've always voted that way" or "my family votes taht way" or "Christians vote that way." So I thought I'd sit back, pray, at watch it all unfold. I knew God is soverign, and his will would be done.

No matter who you voted for (or didn't vote for), let's please be respectful of each other's opinions. God created us all to be passionate about different things. He did that on purpose. Let's not say or do things that could belittle others. After all, we are ALL made in His image. He loves us ALL, no matter what we believe, or who we voted (or didn't vote) for.

*for a great post on WHO we actually put our trust in, check out my sister's blog here.

Cinder-belle-a and friends

So...we had a a couple major dillemas this year in figuring out Halloween costumes (well, major to a 4 year old anyway). I asked Lillian a couple weeks ago what she wanted to be for Halloween. She said, "princess!" (shocking, I know....) So I said how great it would be for her to wear her new princess dress she got for her birthday from Grandma Carla and Beso! And she looked at me and said, "MOM! That dress is NOT a costume!" Apparantly that's a *real* princess dress, and not suitable for Halloween.

First dillema: find a princess costume that's actually a costume.

We went downstairs to our costume container thing which is practically overflowing with sparkly pieces of a variety of princess costumes. She finds the top to a Cinderella costume and thinks it's perfect. Judy loves Cinderella, so of course Cinderella is the winning princess this year. However, the Cinderella costume doesn't have a bottom. And princesses DON'T have non-matching parts of thier dresses. So she settles for Belle. Now, the Belle costume does actually have two parts-a top and a bottom. But chances are, if you've seen my child at home within the last year, you have seen the Belle skirt. It was worn about 5 out of 7 days a week for probably 9 months. It's nasty, it's stained, and it's way too stretched out to wear while walking from house to house for trick-or-treating. So I tell her we might need to think of something else.

So a few days pass by and I asked again if she was going to wear her new dress. And this time it was "Of COURSE I am!" But don't go thinking we have this all figured out yet.

Second dillema: if she wears her new princess dress, should she be Cinderella (because Judy tells her she looks like Cinderella in that dress) or should she be Belle (because it acutally looks kinda like Belle's beautiful dress in the movie. not the cute one. the cute one is red. the beautiful one is yellow.)?

So I come up with my most convincing, excited-to-tell-you-something face and say, "LILLIAN! I know! You could be both! And we'll call you 'Cinder-belle-a!'" AND SHE BOUGHT IT! I thought I was done with the oh-so-serious drama of princess-choosing, but only for a day. :) Turns out she decided on her own that she was going to be Belle. I can only imagine her laying awake in her bed during naptime weighing the pros and cons for each princess. And in the end, Belle won. And she was a beautiful Belle.

It was a dream come true for Lillian. I even allowed her to wear make up (she begs every day, and every day I say no) and sparkles. She felt beautiful. And I loved it. I watched her prance around in her fancy dress with her hair all done, and you could see that she FELT beautiful. And I know that all too soon she be at the stage in her life where she'll never be beautiful enough. So even though I had to explain that not EVERY person has to comment on how beautiful she looks (Mom, that man didn't even say I look beautiful!), I didn't want her to forget this moment. That she really is beautiful. No matter what she'll tell herself in the years to come.

Belle was accompanied by Thomas the Train. What can I say...when there's no truck costume out there, you go for the next best thing...a choo choo. We are HUGE fans of the Thomas Wooden Railroad (Steve and I included) and Josiah thought it was pretty cool to wear that conductors hat around all day. He LOVED trick-or-treating this year, and has already been found a few times hiding under the table with a secret stash. :)

And Miss Brielle started the day as a pumpkin, and ended as...what else...a sweet pea. because she is. :)

Hope your Halloween was as 'sweet' as ours.

The way I saw it....

...I had 4 options:

a) laugh at them

b) cry with them

c) do a very loud and crazy dance just to catch them off guard, and have a moment of silence

d) get the camera when option c didn't work.

(I don't blame you if you don't watch the whole thing...) :)

Grandma Sharon Days

Okay, I have to quick write this post before I forget the things we did and said during the first annual celebration of my mom's life-Grandma Sharon Days.

a little background...

Last year was the first anniversary of my mom's death. And I was convinced that it was going to be so hard. I thought I'd cry all day and not be able to focus on anything. I thought I'd be jumping down the kids' throats all day long, the only escape of my emotions besides crying. I thought I'd barely survive the day. And as the day started, and carried on, I was surprised that I did quite well! Of course I missed my mom, but the idea of her "laughing, and dancing, and singing" in heaven was so prominent in my brain that I couldn't help but praise God she wasn't in that hospital bed in our living room anymore.

that was last year...

This year I thought that my feelings would be similar to last years acutal feelings. I was wrong. It was much more like I anticipated last year to be like. and it took me off guard. It helped to talk to my siblings throughout the day and realize that we ALL felt the same way! It's like last year all we could remember was her illness and her suffering. And this year we are so much more aware of her whole life, and the illness was only a small part of it. So it was hard this year to remember the "real" mom, and what my kids are missing out on, and that I can't call her when I have a problem, or just want to talk. That I can't smell the coffee smell that followed her around all day, or see the amazing smile that was honestly contagious. That she can't be in the room when our babies are born, or be part of my siblings' weddings. And I was grieving SO MUCH all day, but I still had this longing inside me to CELEBRATE her life. Some of us got to be with her for almost fifty-one years. And some of us never got the privilege of knowing her. But I am so thankful for the 25 years I got with her, and we had a great weekend celebrating her life.

Thursday was mostly full of ideas. Angela and I had one initial conversation about what we were going to do to celebrate, and the rest of the day we were calling, emailing, and facebooking each other with more things we remembered. It was great. We started by just doing a lot of talking. I told the kids what day it was and that I was sad. And Lillian said "Oh, I LOVE this day!" She went on to talk about Grandma Sharon being in the room when she was born, and how she loved the fall trees. :) So her innocence of loving this day that was so difficult for me was a little breath of fresh air. It really could be a day to love. So we talked about how it was nice to have special days to remember her. The day consisted of grocery shopping (and I couldn't help but remember why my mom left us in the car...), eating yummy candy (red licorice and hot tamales), stir fry for supper (with an extra can of waterchestnuts), the Grandma Sharon Story (click HERE if you haven't read it), and Love You Forever. The sweet and innocent quote of the day: "Oh, Mommy! Jesus isn't in my heart anymore!" "Really? Why not?" "Because Grandma Sharon is instead!" (That comes from the picture in the Grandma Sharon Story where the Grandma Sharon heart is inside Lillian's heart in the picture.)

Friday was a very special day. We had a tree dedication ceremony at Siouxland Mental Health, where my mom used to work. They lost a big tree in a storm, and wanted to plant a new one in her memory. And of course, it will change color in the fall. Joel, Mel, Maria, Dad, Steve, me, and the kids were all there.

After that we went to one of my mom's favorite places-Stone Park. It was a tradition that Maria, Mel, and I were a part of for many many years. And Angela and Joel were able to join us a few times. It was our first time there since mom died, but it was great to be in a place we knew she loved...roasting hot dogs and s'mores by a fire. And we even hiked up the hill in our old age. Maria (many months pregnant), Steve (carrying Josiah), and I (with Brielle in the baby bjorn) weren't sure we were going to make it up. but we did. :)

Saturday was Josiah's 2nd birthday. That sweet child was born at exactly the right time. My mom had passed away two days before, and I was over a week overdue. But I wanted to be with my mom as long as I could, so I waited to go in to be induced until after she passed away. And I was out of the hospital just in time for the visitation and funeral. So dear little Josiah joined our family just in time to remind us that God gives, and God takes away. He was just what we needed. But I don't want the poor kid to feel like we don't celebrate his birthday bc it's GSD. So we took a day for him. a day full of trucks. :)

Sunday would have been my mom's birthday. So we did things she loved: went to church, ate Papa Murphy's pizza, took a LONG nap, worked on a project for fall decoration, made caramel corn (we had fun dancing, even if it got a little burnt), and of course COLD STONE ice cream! :)

It was a weekend full of emotion. I was so exhausted on Sunday that my nap lasted a little too long, and then I ended up awake til 2 something that night. But it was such a great time of reflection. Of remembering who my mom was, and how she is still alive in us. all of us. If you knew her, you know what I'm talking about. And if you didn't know her, every good thing about me comes from her. :)

*I promise my other posts won't be this long.

**If you want to see more pictures of Grandma Sharon Days, click HERE.

So...I took the plunge....

and started blogging. But let's get a few things out of the way.

First of all, if you read my sister's blog, you probably have some sort of expectation that I will be as good of a writer as she is. I'm not. There. Moving on...

Secondly, I realize that the name of my blog is cheesy.

Lastly, I have no idea if this blog will get updated every day or every week or every month. But I wanted somewhere to come to share funny stories so I remember them, share great recipes for others who are culinarily declined like me, and share pictures of our little life with you. I have found through my mom's passing that we remember things most clearly when we have pictures or written word to go by. And I want to remember lots of things.... :)

So bear with me as I dive into the world of blogging. I am an avid reader of many blogs (I think you can find them somewhere on my page) and decided that I would start one. It's really more for myself I think, than for you all. But it will be fun to share. Let me know if you have a blog too, so I can add you to my list! :)

Naptime is winding down here, and there's much to be done. I have many things I already want to blog about, so check back soon!

til then...
Andrea