oh man. I just got this in an email from my aunt, and I was about busting up all alone in my living room reading it. I always thought all this stuff was cliche...and then I had kids. And as far as this family goes, it's all pretty dead on...except the pacifier thing. (I've always been a 'wipe it off and pop it back in' kind of girl.
Birth Order of Children
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month..
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The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in..
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_______________________________________________________
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance! ______________________________________________________
At Home: (and my personal favorite) :)
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
(does anyone else think this is as hilarious as I do? or don't you have enough kids yet...) :)
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6 comments:
I only have one, but I can already see this trend as he gets older!
HAHA! yup, that was just as funny to me.
Well most of the second kid things sound like how I was with my first....does that mean this next one is up a creek without a paddle?! Very funny, though. I read the email from Wanda, and read it all again on your blog!
Maria
Love it!!
I just thought of another one. Television:
First child: may watch an occasional show here and there, but only knows Sesame Street character names from books until they turn two when they may watch an occasional DVD.
Second child: watches television and DVDs on a daily basis and knows all of the Sesame Street character names before the age of two.
Third child: knows everything the second child knows as well as how to work the television, DVD player and remote.
Oh my goodness I think every single one of those is true. Like someone was in my house watching me. ;) Thanks for sharing, I needed the laugh!
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