Thursday, April 8, 2010

poor Brielle :)

oh man. I just got this in an email from my aunt, and I was about busting up all alone in my living room reading it. I always thought all this stuff was cliche...and then I had kids. And as far as this family goes, it's all pretty dead on...except the pacifier thing. (I've always been a 'wipe it off and pop it back in' kind of girl.

Birth Order of Children

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month..


The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?



1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.


1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in..



1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.



1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.


Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance! ______________________________________________________

At Home: (and my personal favorite) :)

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children

(does anyone else think this is as hilarious as I do? or don't you have enough kids yet...) :)


Ridenour Ranch said...

I only have one, but I can already see this trend as he gets older!

Melinda said...

HAHA! yup, that was just as funny to me.

Anonymous said...

Well most of the second kid things sound like how I was with my first....does that mean this next one is up a creek without a paddle?! Very funny, though. I read the email from Wanda, and read it all again on your blog!


theKband said...

Love it!!

Corinne Doughan said...

I just thought of another one. Television:

First child: may watch an occasional show here and there, but only knows Sesame Street character names from books until they turn two when they may watch an occasional DVD.

Second child: watches television and DVDs on a daily basis and knows all of the Sesame Street character names before the age of two.

Third child: knows everything the second child knows as well as how to work the television, DVD player and remote.

alison said...

Oh my goodness I think every single one of those is true. Like someone was in my house watching me. ;) Thanks for sharing, I needed the laugh!