let's play catch up

well, it's been a busy week. Here's a little recap...

Last Wednesday night our car broke down at church. The kids and I got a ride back home from a friend at church, while Steve stayed to figure out what happened, get the car towed, etc. And just as we rounded the corner near our house, I realized that Steve and Colin have the house keys. And I only ever use the garage door opener, which happens to still be in the broken down car at church. SO...we headed over to the neighbors and confess that 'we are locked out of the house for the second time in two weeks', and 'could we please ruin your evening together and hang out here and beg for food and drinks and play loudly and almost wake your sleeping children?'

and of course they let us. til almost 11. and this is AFTER helping us haul a fridge into the house not too long ago and many other "needy neighbor" moments. They are good friends. :)

So we got the car fixed. It was expensive. gr.

I also had my Creative Memories National Scrapbook Day weekend. It was the very first time I did my own event, and it was so fun. I felt a little like a maniac trying to get the church set up and the food prepared and such all on Friday morning. I'm quite thankful for the many people who helped me keep my sanity and get stuff done. And I just have to mention that it was really good food. I'll never shop at Don's Food Center again, unless I win the lottery, but it was good food. :) You forget about things like the cost of food at a local grocery store when you've been out of town for....lots of of years.

The rest of the weekend was well spent with family. Magical salads at Smits dinner, Pizza Ranch (where I had the pleasant surprise of running into Steph), Ticket to Ride (why do I always lose every game I play?), and naps. :) And sometime during that weekend, Lillian picked up the phrase "GEE!" She uses it about 7 times a day now. It cracks me up.

Monday we were supposed to go to the duck pond to feed the ducks the old bread we were saving for them. But it rained. So instead we went to some friends' house for supper, and hit the duck pond the next day. ("Gee! Look at those ducks! They're coming right over by us!") I even managed to get a picture of everyone before my camera died. (you'll have to look very closely to see me...)



And now we're suddenly back at Thursday. Tulip Festival is coming soon, which means a couple of things. First of all, I don't have much time to train for the 5k. That whole "because it's on my blog" thing didn't work. But last night I ran a mile. And I survived. It took a long time, but I didn't stop til I hit a mile. :) Rachel, here's hoping that my 5k pace matches your 10k pace. we'll see... It also means that I have a couple sewing projects to complete in a short amount of time. I have to 'shrink' two girl costumes, and 'grow' a boy's costume. I'm also hoping to make a new lining for the buggy I want to use this year... man, my mom was talented.

Before we tried on Dutch costumes this weekend, my aunt Karen brought over a little surprise for Lillian. This is the dress that Karen's daughter Lea wore in my mom and dad's wedding 30-something years ago. It was a smaller version of my moms, and it was so beautiful. I hunted til I found the old wedding album to show Lillian. As I flipped through that book, I felt like I was 8 again, savoring the smell of the old photographs, gazing at my beautiful mother, grinning at my young father, and knowing they had something special. I used to LOVE looking through that book. Lillian doesn't really get the significance of that dress, but it was so meaningful to see her in it. My mom would have loved it.













In other news...Brielle is almost crawling. She can do like one 'crawl' at a time. I'm doomed. :) But Josiah apparently got ahold of my camera at dance class on monday and took a few pictures of Brielle crawling.

and then one of Lillian's class....


And along with his new photography skills, he is almost completely potty trained! He goes "huge" poopoos in the toilet, and his diaper is almost always dry! yay! And he's still sweet as ever. The other day when the neighbor was taking him to go potty, and she asked him if he knew what to do, he said "yep! I jsut push my penis down! .....I love my mom." little sweetie. :)

And...besides learning new words like 'gee', Lillian also whips out some math every once in a while. just simple adding and subtracting, but jeepers, I had 2nd graders who couldn't do that when I was teaching. She's a smarty pants. :) I'll stop bragging on my adorable amazing wonderful sweet beautiful children now. ;)

Alright, I'm done recapping. Not a very "fun" post, but lots of things worth remembering. :)

drumroll please...

True Random Number Generator Min: Max: 19


Result: 10

Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Okay, here's the winner! It's Mary from The Yellow Door Paperie.

Congrats Mary! And I'm heading to OC this weekend so I'll drop it by! Send me an email and let me know if you want it personalized!

now wasn't that fun??? :)

way more important than bow boards

Hi again.

I just wanted to get the word out there for people to be praying for my cousin and her babies. She's pregnant with twins, and is having a procedure done today (which i don't know a lot about) to separate her placenta so that the twins will have equal amounts of amniotic fluid (I think).

Right now baby A continues to have too much fluid around it, while baby B never has enough.

Her husband is flying in this morning to be with her, so please pray for his safe and timely arrival. Acutally, here are a list of things you can pray for specifically:

- Gered to get here before the procedure starts! They have been running really late with all of my testing so hopefully tomorrow is no exception.

- The procedure to be fully effective and that the placenta can be divided as equally a possible.

- The surgeons to be accurate, and that any possible complications can be avoided.

- That we may be able to return home as quickly and safely as possible.

Please lift Gina and her babies up before the Lord right NOW!

my first GIVEAWAY!

hi people!

Good news! My bow board got over 100 "looks" on my etsy shop, so to celebrate, I'll be giving one away!

Actually, every time an item gets purchased, the counting starts over, so maybe it's not such good news that 100 people have looked, but not purchased. :) oh well. (and I have done some custom orders that people just didn't get from the etsy shop, so I'm still celebrating.)

so, this is how a giveaway works, if you're new to blogging. You make a comment. I use a random number finder thingy, and I'll announce the winner in another blog post! You will have until Wednesday night to make your comment. I'll announce the winner on Thrudsay!

I must say that I have been the winner of a few giveaways, and it's so fun. :) Even if you don't have a little girl in the house, I'm positive you can find SOMEONE who would love their bow board. :) You'd just have to tell me where to send it!

So...let the giveaway begin! (and check out more stuff at www.thepinkadink.com)

Dear Brielle

You're nine months old today. I can't believe it.

I love so many things about you. You are an easy baby to love. :)

I love this stage that you're in. You can't crawl yet, but you can move around a little bit, and get the toys that are just out of reach. It keeps you busy enough, and I don't have to worry about baby gates and stuff yet. You big brother and sister were already crawling by now. Josiah was almost walking when he was your age. I love that you are just taking your time. Just hanging out and watching everything around you. Every once in a while, you get all geared up in your sitting position, and you put your hands on the ground in front of you, and you start rockin, like you're ready to take off. And you look up at me with your "stage 7 smile," wrinkly nose and all, like you're waiting for my permission. I"m not sure I'm ready to give it to you yet. You're my baby. :)

You are the absolute best sleeper EVER! I can't help but think that 'I deserve you' after the troubled sleepers we've already had. :) Every day I put you down for a nap sometime between 10:00 and 10:30. I sing a little song, and lay you down. And you love it! You just lay there, talking, singing, poking your pacifier. And eventually you go to sleep! I usually end up waking you up before lunch, because I want you to be ready for your next nap in the afternoon. I must admit that I'm a little selfish and think that I need some alone time while all the kids are down for naps in the afternoon. So I wake you up, and you're never crabby. ever. You do the same thing for afternoon naps, and even for bedtime. You usually sleep about 13 hours or more, uninterrupted. I think you get your love of sleeping from me.

You love your big brother and sister. And they adore you. Lillian is still waiting for you to be big enough to play dress up and do hair. I'm okay if you decide to take your time with that though. I like you little. :) And Josiah just can't get enough of you. He would love and snuggle and kiss and smother you all day if I'd let him. And he calls you "Blielle." it's really cute. You give them a HUGE smile when you see them. every time. I'll try to remember that in a few years when you all get sick of each other.

You love me the most. It's true. I'm your favorite person. :) If you can see me, but I'm not holding you, it's a major problem for whoever IS holding you. And when I leave the room, you freak out a little. I try really hard to not be annoyed by it, because I know that one day (too soon) you'll care less whether I"m around or not. You'll be so busy playing, or talking, or who-knows-what. and I won't matter so much. So for now, I'll try to just love the fact that you love me so much.

I can't believe how much you eat. I make your baby food, and then freeze it in ice cubes. You eat 3 or 4 cubes of ANYTHING, usually mixed with some rice or beans, and some applesauce. and then you still don't think you're done eating. It's about 7 ounces of food every meal by the time you're done. And then you still nurse afterward. And you crack me up at mealtime. You seem like a robot. Your little birdie mouth waits open for the spoon with every bite. And you have never spit a single thing out. ever. I bought a strange mix of veggies one time, and you still ate it. I'M the one who decided you didn't have to eat that anymore, because it made your poop smell weird. But you would have eaten it anyway, peppers and all. And the best part? You love avacados. We share one quite often, and you usually let me have most of it. I love that about you. :)

You are such an easy baby. You make me smile a million times a day. You love simple things like grass and business cards. You let me take pictures of you with all sorts of hair accessories for my website. And you usually smile for them. It cracks me up.

I know that moms have a hard time keeping up with taking pictures and scrapbooking and remembering stuff for their younger kids. I"m already guilty. But I know that I'll never forget your easy-going personality, your stages of smiles, and your sweet little heart.

When I was little, my mom told me that I was really special to her because I was the third child, and I had a older brother and an older sister, just like her. And from that day on, I always wanted to have my third child be a girl. I feel so lucky to have you. we have something special, and I'll remember THAT forever.

I love you sweet girl.
now, stop growing up so fast.

You've GOT to try this!

So, let's just say that your wonderful husband was being super helpful the other day and got your baby girl's lunch ready. And let's just say that you suggested maybe adding some baked beans to the veggies to add a little protein. And then let's just say that he added them before putting the cup in the microwave, not after, like YOU usually do. Let's just say that the beans totally exploded all over the microwave (which I'm sure was just sparkling clean before that happened). :) And let's just say that life is busy, and it just got left there. for a long time. days, in fact.

That's just what I'm SAYING. It may or may not be what really happened.

And crusty exploded beans are quite hard to scrape out of the microwave.

But then I remembered reading through a free Martha Stewart Living magazine a couple weeks ago. and I think that's where I read something about putting lemons in the microwave to clean it. I didn't remember the exact article or the instructions or anything. So I just cut up a lemon, put it on a plate, and added a little water to the plate and cooked it for a few minutes. And sure enough, the beans and other such baked on grossness wiped right off!

And now it really is sparkling clean! :)

just thought you might like to know! (although I'm sure YOUR microwave is never gross) :)

Jericho and stuff

Life seems crazy these days. Well, not actually crazy. I don't even have a word to describe it. But I think I've been in a 'funk.' I'm not writing this post to get people to say, "hang in there!" or "this too shall pass" or anything.

I'm writing it because I was laying in bed the other night thinking about how I wish there was some device that could take everything out of my head and just keep it somewhere for the night so I could sleep. And then put it back in my head in the morning and think about it again if I needed to. And then I realized that's kind of what blogs are for. I think I'll feel better if I just let some of it out.

So...

Well, remember that one post I wrote a while ago where I mentioned how I was doing really well wtih Steve working all those hours? That kind of wore off. And I got in this mode where I just went through my days kind of half-***ed, not doing a very good job at anything I was doing. And then that was driving me crazy, because my kids were catching on, and my house was a total wreck, and it was just a strange state to be in.

And my husband said to me one night, "Hon, do you feel like we're just kind of putting up walls with each other?" And without blinking an eye I responded, "yes. I know I am. But that feels better than constantly thinking about how I wish you were here." And that was the end of the conversation. orally.

But it kept playing in my head. over and over. and I knew those walls were getting really strong. They were made out of really strong bricks.

There were bricks for every hour of overtime Steve was working but not getting paid for. There were bricks for all the times I just wanted to know when he was going to leave work, so I knew when to make supper. There were bricks for all the times he wasn't home when he thought he'd be because something came up at work. There were bricks from all the arguments that my kids had with each other every day which probably could have been avoided if I had been a little more involved with them. There were bricks for all hormones in my body from this new birth control. (and let me just say that it works REALLY well. because there's not a lot of baby-making going on when you have your period for like 7 weeks. so of COURSE I am not going to get pregnant. why did I have to pay more than 600 bucks to figure that out?) There were bricks for all the laundry loads that I had to do, for the ones that were done but not folded, and for the ones that were done and put away. oh no wait. there were none of those. But there were tons of bricks for the anger I felt toward the weather for being so messed up.

So anyway, you get my point. I had lots of bricks. and they were strong.

And then last week I was reading Renee's blog post about her husband, and her dad, and loss. And I almost always cry when I read her blog because we each lost a parent at about the same time. And I feel like we have such similar emotions about it all. So it's nice to read them in someone else's words. It's like it helps my own emotions make more sense. anyway, she was writing about being scared of losing her husband, which just happens to be my very biggest fear in life. And I know that fear is not from God. and that I'm not trusting that he'd get me through it. but it's real. I'm scared to death.

So I'm reading this blog post and bawling my eyes out. And I decided that I didn't care how bad it would hurt to think about Steve not being home when I wished he was. Because he would be coming home. which is more than some people can say about thier spouse. So I didn't care how bad it was going to hurt. I had to stop building my wall. I wasn't totally convinced I could knock the wall down yet, but I knew I at least had to stop building it.

And then I started thinking about my kids. And how they probably wondered what was up with me. And how I had such little patience with them, even when they were being perfectly good. And I thought about people like Stellan's mom, who hangs out in his PICU room all day, unable to play with him, or his older siblings who she doesn't even get to SEE very often. And I started thinking about Joel and Jess, who don't even have sweet Cora to play with or tuck into bed or celebrate a birthday with anymore.

And then there was a knock on my door. It was just after lunch time, and I wasn't expecting anyone. it was strange. So I answered the door and there was a police officer standing there. I only knew she was one because she had a bulletproof vest on. She introduced herself as Detective so-and-so, and at that moment I knew something happened to Steve. And it was too late to stop building the wall. He wouldn't even know that I felt bad about the wall, and was trying to work on it. and they sent the woman to tell me because she was probably more sensitive than the men, and I might respond better to a woman. and something happened to Steve. something happened to steve. something happened to steve.

and then she asked if I knew anything about the house across the street that's practically abandoned.

holy crap. don't do that to me....

and even though I wasn't ready for it to come down, it was like the walls of Jericho crumbling down around me. Bricks surrounding me, everywhere. That's when I wondered why in the heck I had that many bricks in the first place. Why in the heck did I waste my time building the wall at all? it didn't matter. the wall was gone now. I just had to figure out how to get out of the mess.

and that's been a slow process.

that all happened on thursday.

On saturday we both worked really hard on organizing stuff. so nothing really got cleaned, but we felt much better about the house. My dear hubby even cleaned out the nasty (NASTY) mess in the broken deep freezer. without complaining.

on sunday Steve and I were laying in bed. I'm still not to the point where I can go to sleep right away. So we had been there for a few minutes, which is all it takes for Steve to zonk out.

"pst. are you awake?"

he squeezed me. (because we all know that our mouth muscles are way harder to move when we're tired than our hand muscles.) :)

"do you still feel like there's walls between us?"

"no."

"me either."

and then I felt him twitch. that's what he does when he sleeps. but that was okay. I didn't need any more conversation. the wall was gone. and he knew it too.

And this week I made some more progress. I have {somewhat} tamed the bow-making mess MONSTER that took over our house. I cleaned the kitchen. I cleaned the living room. I played with the kids. it was fun.

And today was sunny. that helped a lot. we had a picnic outside with the neighbors. That cleared out a lot of the brick mess. I needed that.

And this weekend we have nothing planned. We can hang out. We can celebrate our Savior's triumph over death. We can just BE. and be together.

I wasn't really ready to write about the wall until I knew it was under control. And now I'm about to post it. I think that's progress.

and that's all I can really ask for. progress.

sick-o

I put chapstick on my lips often.

I know I'm not alone. Millions of people put chapstick on numerous times a day, whether or not their lips are chapped. It's a habit.

And most of us just grab it out of our pockets and put it on absentmindedly, and then shove it back in our pocket.

And sometimes we leave it in our pocket too long, and it gets washed. If we are lucky, we find it in the bottom of the washing machine and stick it back in our pocket. If we aren't, we find the melted mess that was chap-stick, but is now just plain shine, in the dryer. And if we're sort of lucky, it only got on a few clothing items.

If it survives the washer, I still think it's okay to use. It might be a little "wetter" than usual, but still good. Some of you might be saying "duh, it IS wet. from the washer." And those of you who use it often and have the same problem as me are saying, "yeah. it IS just a little....wetter...." (Joel, you gotta be with me on this...) But eventually the wetness wears off and you can go about absentmindedly putting on your chapstick again.

But today my life is forever changed. I can only hope that I never do such a foolish act again. The absentminded application habit ALMOST caused me to put this on my lips. And if you would see it in person, those little mold things are like worms. And I could just imagine them multiplying and wiggling thier way off my lips and into my mouth and feel them in my stomach.... (that was for you Mel.) :)




For some miraculous reason, I took a quick peek at the stuff before I put it on today.

Apparently, all's NOT well, even if it does survive the washer.

Enough...enough now.

Dear Old Man Winter,

I don't usually write this kind of letter. But I think I'm to the point where something needs to be said, and this way I can make sure I get everything out that I need to.

This just isn't really working out for me anymore.

I know that many months ago I was so excited to be with you. For the smells, the sights, the holidays we shared together. It was so great. I loved singing songs about you, loved the special food that made me think of you, loved lots of things. We had many great moments with you as a family. I enjoyed {almost} every moment spent with you.

I clearly remember our night of being snowed in, stuck in the house with no kids, and the magic that was in the air that night. It was so much fun to have you around. I don't even have words to describe it.

But that was all in the past.

See, I'm not really the kind of person who can handle people messing with my heart. You are the one that chose to leave. And I moved on. I was so happy with Spring. My whole attitude and perspective on life had changed. Things were starting to look beautiful again to me. And I was doing well. But then you have the guts to just show up show up out of nowhere, and try to be part of my life again? More than once even! And I can't handle it. I wish you'd just stay away.

So, this is it. I'm done. I want nothing to do with you. Don't call me. Don't write. I don't ever want to see you again. I've had enough.

Til next year,
Andrea