160 days without you

so, I've taken a little blogging hiatus, which you probably haven't noticed. I have yet to post about things like my dad's wedding and B's 3rd birthday. But before I do that, I just have to tell you about yesterday.

Remember last year? Lillian had a really hard transition into kindergarten. I didn't even post about most of it, just the first day. I'm not sure what happened, but the girl that I thought was SO READY for kindergarten actually wasn't. Well, I guess she was ready for the learning part, but not the being away from mommy part. She turned into a completely different child and was hiding behind doors before school, and making herself SICK thinking about riding the bus. It was a LONG first few weeks last year.

But this year, since she knows a bunch of kids in her class already, and one of her best friends (erica) is in her class, and her teacher seems really awesome, and the fact that she's "bored" just about all day every day, I thought for sure she'd be excited!

But the last few days she's made little comments about not wanting to go back, and other little things.

And last night we had 'back to school night' or whatever, and met her teacher, and saw some friends. And when I put her to bed, she looked at me with her big brown eyes and said, "but mommy, I don't WANT to be away from you for 160 days again!" :( and THEN...at about 9 she got out of her bed and walked downstairs and started bawling in my arms, saying she couldn't sleep because all she could think about was going to school and not being with me.

I know she'll be fine once the year gets going. I know. But that doesn't help NOW. So, we'll read The Kissing Hand again, and find something to put in her pocket to give her a little comfort when she misses me. It's so wonderful that she thinks I'm awesome and wants to be with me, because I know some day that will change. :) I just really hope that she doesn't dread the start of school every year.

it's more than this mama's heart can take.