blah

I'm in one of those moods, ya know? The kind where you feel like a slob, look like a slob, act like a slob.

It's hard to kick it. Steve is never home for supper anymore, and I think that's where it starts. a vicious circle.

if steve's not coming home, I'm not going to make a nice supper
so we eat crap
and feel like crap
and we sit around instead of doing stuff or exercising
and keep feeling like crap
so we wear crappy clothes
and look like crap.
and I could care less that I look like crap because steve's not coming home
and since steve's not coming home, I'm not going to make supper
so we eat more crap
blah
blah
blah...

I think I should go to chipotle and see if I can find that "can't get me down" attitude again. :)

can't get me down

Today started beautifully...

I woke up this morning sometime while steve was getting ready for work. That's the BEST way to wake up for a variety of reasons. First of all, it means that I am still in bed, which is one of the many reasons I love being a work from home mom. However, the sweetness today was mostly because it meant that Josiah, my dear, loving, sweet, non-sleeper SLEPT ALL NIGHT! No bad dreams, no owie toes (or elbows, or knees, or cheeks or anything else he can think of to hurt), no sneaking into our room to ask when he can get up. NOTHING!

It was lovely.

And the day progressed like most MOPS days: take a shower, warn the kids it's almost time to get up, get dressed, get the big kids up and dressed, feed the big kids, get Brielle up, feed Brielle, start freaking out about time, put makeup on, yell for the kids to get shoes on, change Brielle, keep freaking out about the time, yell for the kids to get thier shoes on AGAIN, start the search party for matching pairs of shoes, find sweatshirts or jackets for the rainy day, you get the picture.

today, however, we added a few extra steps, like find umbrellas for the kids, because they really really love them lately and even though it was only sprinkling, I decided to let them use them, even if it made us a few (more) minutes late.

I also didn't realize that we were OUT of gas, as in, sometime last night the light came on and much driving was done since then, so I couldn't just risk it today. So we were a few (more) minutes late.

We're always a LITTLE late, but today we were like 25 minutes late or something ridiculous like that. oh well, can't get me down today. :)

So after MOPS we only have a few minutes to eat before we have to have Lillian at school. Instead of having to pack a lunch and arrive even LATER than usual, we have just made it a tradition that after MOPS we stop by McDonalds with some friends and order a few cheeseburgers, fries to share, and water for the kids, and an entire meal for me, complete with my OWN fries AND a drink. I'm so unfair. :) BUT, there's an old guy there that occasionally gives the kids their own drinks and even happy meal toys because "they are so well behaved and you just don't see that too often these days." So they come out alright in the end. :)

But today our friends couldn't make it, so I decided that instead of McD's AGAIN, we'd do something different. I figured that if I got them something cheap like usual, and didn't order Brielle anything, then Brielle and I could eat at Chipotle while the kids ate thier burgers. I could use "Brielle's money" that would have paid for her food, and add it to the cost of what I would have paid for my McD's meal, and come up with about the same cost as a chipotle burrito, and Brielle could eat a side of beans and rice for like $.80 and we'd be spending about the same amount on lunch but Mommy would get chipotle. :)

so on the way to Chipotle, we stop at Wendy's and run through the drive-through to get their burgers. I know what to order, because they always want the same thing, every time. So I order a plain cheeseburger with small fries for Lillian, and a regular cheeseburger for Josiah, and even throw in another order of fries, hoping that it will make me feel less guilty about dragging them into chipotle to eat it.

So the guy clarifies that I wanted waters with that, and said something about ten dollars and pull ahead or soemthing. I'm thinking surely he wasn't giving me my total, because if cheeseburgers are like a buck, and fries are about a buck, then I shouldn't be spending more than four or five bucks at this stop. So I pull up to the window and say "how much was it?" and he says "ten sixty five" or something and I say "really? for two burgers and two small fries?" and he nods, giving me a look like I'm really stupid, or maybe just that he's really not wanting to be at work. and I think, 'ah, well, I get chipotle, ya can't get me down..." and hand him my card, which he drops, and I open my door to get, and bang it into the ledge, so have to pull ahead and open the door and squeeze out and hand him my card again. nothing like providing a little entertainment for those behind me.

Okay, so I get BACK in the van, drive to the next window where they hand me about a ten pound bag and a couple waters. It's then that I realize that these are not "kid quality" burgers, and there's a reason they were three bucks each. They are MASSIVE. So at least I feel better about spending the money, even though I know about half of each burger will be eaten IF I'M LUCKY.

Off we go to chipotle. mmm... The line was short, I ordered my perfect burrito, a side for B, and found a table to eat at. And it all went wonderfully. A few spills here and there (because those burgers were jammed full of condiments, it was really quite nasty), but nothing to really get me down. Lillian even ate EVERY bite of her burger, which wasn't even plain! I had to scrape off the stuff into her wrapper bc Mr. I'MTOOCOOLTOBEWORKINGATWENDY'S didn't pay attention to my order. Anyway, it doesn't matter. it's a good day.

While leaving chipotle I'm sure I looked a bit...um...flustered. we had to hurry to get Lillian to school, so I'm holding Brielle who is trying her best to get out of my arms and over to Lillian's fries, and holding Josiah's hand with one hand, and his fries with my diet coke in my other hand, which is the arm that's holding Brielle, and dodging puddles and holding my leg up as a road block after I let go of Josiah so that he doesn't go in the wrong side of the van and step on the pizzas I made for supper tonight at MOPS. (see? good day! supper is already ready!)

I put my diet coke on the top of the van, brielle in her seat, Josiah's fries in her lap, buckle her in, and try to "help" Josiah with his seatbelt. He really needs more than "helping" though, so I half climb into the van with my butt sticking out for all the lovely people in Chipotle to see, but figure they are not looking at my butt anyway so get over it. Josiah gets buckled, asks for his fries, so I take them from Brielle, and trade her for Lillian's, crisis averted. :)

WHOO! So we're finally in the van and ready to go and I pull out and notice like ALL the people in chipotle looking at me. nice. I figured they'd have other things to do besides watch me try to manage my three kids in a rainy parking lot while holding all our food and drinks we didn't have time to finish.

ah, well, can't get me down today! happy viewing people!

As we pull into Lillian's school, I can finally take a breath, and grab another sip of diet coke, and realize that the people in chipotle really could care less about me managing my kids and such. They were probably just placing bets on how far I could drive before my diet coke fell off the top of my roof. hopefully somebody got rich. :)

ANYWAY, came home to a crazy messy house because I've been neglecting it in the pinkadink busy-ness these last few days. Left the milk out on the counter this morning. Can't see the couch bc it's covered in laundry (but at least it's CLEAN! just not folded). There's lot of last night's supper on the dining room floor, and a bit of this morning's breakfast has joined it. But right now, the kids are in bed, the house is quiet, and I'm going to tackle the mess right after I'm done wasting time by writing this. :)

It's a good day. when I wake up like I did today, there's nothing that can get me down. :)

happy friday!

poor Brielle :)

oh man. I just got this in an email from my aunt, and I was about busting up all alone in my living room reading it. I always thought all this stuff was cliche...and then I had kids. And as far as this family goes, it's all pretty dead on...except the pacifier thing. (I've always been a 'wipe it off and pop it back in' kind of girl.


Birth Order of Children

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month..

______________________________________________________

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

______________________________________________________

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper,
a frown--you pick up the baby

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten
to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it
off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in..

______________________________________________________

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

_______________________________________________________

Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing,
Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.

______________________________________________________

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to
leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance! ______________________________________________________

At Home: (and my personal favorite) :)

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children

(does anyone else think this is as hilarious as I do? or don't you have enough kids yet...) :)

I want what she has

This past weekend Erika (Steve's sister) got married, so most of our thoughts this Easter weekend were admittedly consumed by wedding-ness.

But last weekend we had the chance to do a few intentional Easter things to help remember the greatest gift ever given. We went to Christ Community Church, where I attend MOPS, and they had "stations" set up to make little crafts and learn a bit more about the easter story. So we stayed for a while and made some sand art things, learned how to make pretzels (and the three loops representing the Father, son, and holy spirit), and made some Easter placemats. And then, before we left, we stopped in the chapel to watch the video about the death of Jesus through the eyes of a child.

While watching the video, Lillian was really affected. She sat and cried and snuggled into her daddy's chest, not understanding why anyone would ever do such things to another person. She's always been a very sensitive girl, so I shouldn't have been surprised. But I guess I was. And that's what bothers me the most. I was surprised that it touched my five year old that way because to me, the story of the cross has seemingly become just that. a story.

I grew up hearing the story a million times. I've always understood that it was for me, and that I didn't deserve it, but I got it anyway. And that I could live because Christ died for me. And that he rose again, and conquered death, and the miracle of it all.

I still get emotional, quite frequently, actually, just thinking about the fact that it was for me. Little old dirty rotten sinful me. But if I'm honest, THAT'S what the emotion is about. Not necessarily WHAT he did, or what he WENT through, but just the fact that it was for me, *which I think is a really important part of it, still.*

But I want what Lillian has. I want fresh eyes, seeing the pain, the cruelty, the blood. When I think about him dying for me, I want to see it in full.

I remember this happening before too. When we first got our Jesus Storybook Bible (which you should all check out if you haven't already) we read that story. I think it was last year around Easter. And just the way the author writes had us all in tears. But that's not where it ended. For a while Lillian was having bad dreams about the death of Jesus, and it broke my heart.

So I've just realized this year that we need each other's eyes in all this. I need to see a bit more from her perspective, and the REALITY of it all. And she needs to see the best part, that we live FREE from our sin now, and forever in eternity. Because the "story" is real. And the love is real. And without one part or the other, you don't see the true miracle that it is.

you make me smile

ahh, the sunshine today put a song in my head that's just so wonderful and happy. It's a song that I've been really loving these last few weeks, so I thought I'd share it with you. :) it's called 'smile.' isn't that lovely?

and I dedicate this post to these guys, because they make me smile. :)

photo by the very talented Alison Bickel

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

the shakes are GONE?????

My friend Rachel posted a recipe for really healthy shakes the other day on her blog, and I thought I'd give them a try.

Every year when spring comes, I get super excited for my garden, and then I realize how long it will actually be before I get any produce, so I go into this mode. I start craving veggies like nobody's business and I head off to the store and fill up the cart with lots of good stuff. And then I freak out because it all costs so much, and I know that soon my garden will give me produce for pennies.

but anyway, this recipe was perfect in the midst of my veggie-craving madness.

here's what to do:

fill up the blender with as many spinach leaves as you can.
cram some frozen strawberries in there too.
add a cup of apple juice.
blend it up.
give to your kids.
watch as they enjoy MOSTLY spinach. :)

Rachel talks about possibly not telling your kids what they're actually eating/drinking, so they don't assume it'll be nasty. But I'm trying to show my kids that healthy food is actually really good. so they knew full well what was going into it. in fact, they are the ones that put it in the blender. But I also use spinach regularly, so they weren't too scared of it. BUT, if your kids are, then maybe let them taste how great it is before you tell them what's in it. and then later you can tell them, and they'll have a positive association with spinach. and you can go from there. :)

anyway, had to share, since after supper last night everyone was like WHAT???? THE SHAKES ARE GONE???? and first thing this morning Josiah said "mom, I think we should make some more shakes."

and, I didn't feel like AS bad of a parent when I served spinach shakes with the hot dogs. :)

family vacation

We got back on Saturday from a few days in California. It was a great trip. Our very first family vacation. (I define vacation by going somewhere by choice and NOT staying with family.) :)

It was a much needed break from the cold and dirty snow, and the monotony of late nights at work, pinkadink busy-ness, and feeling stuck inside with the kids.

Here is a bit of what I learned on vacation:

* My kids are good travelers. The airplanes were very cool at first, but then quite boring. But they still did great. Brielle refused to sleep the whole trip up there, and kept me very very busy trying to entertain her, but it ended wonderfully with a long nap once we arrived. :) The big kids were just great (well, on the way up there anyway).





* Starbursts are great airplane candy because they require lots of chewing and produce an obscene amount of saliva which needs to be swallowed. :)

* California really does have a layer of brown smog that you have to fly through to get there. Lillian kept yelling to me, "mom! I wanna fly into that brown stuff!" and we did.

* 3 kids and 3 adults fit into an impala quite well.

* Playing outside feels SO good. So does sitting and chatting with old friends.

* Brielle is not so keen on sharing toys, espicially when said toy is a pastel colored molded plastic house.

* IKEA is freaking awesome. I want one here. I need one here.

* Giving the kids thier own disposable camera for the trip was possibly my best decision regarding the trip. they LOVED it, and they didn't always ask to borrow ours to take pictures!



* The beach is cold and wonderful this time of year. and my kids do not think surfing is as cool as I do. and it's okay to grab the camera when you know a wave will knock your child over, instead of warning them about what will happen. :)













* a warm cement porch is a perfect place for a snooze.

* In-N-Out is tasty. quite tasty. But I'm super glad we left right after the roaster started on fire, because that was quite stinky. And then we had to walk right past it outside to get to our cars. The kids were convinced we should call 9-11, even though we tried to explain that they had it under control.

* Best friends, no matter when they held that role in your life, will always feel like best friends, regardless of how much time you spend together. It's not a matter of "picking up where you left off." it's more like "picking up right where you are."

* AeroBeds are awesome.

* Fresh orange juice is fun to make, and delicious to drink!





* Disneyland is warmer than the rest of LA, thankfully.



* Princesses are not out in the evening at Disneyland. :( But quick thinking by parents can smooth over any situation. Lillian got a pack of princess lip gloss from the princesses with a note saying sorry that she didn't get to see them, but they still wanted her to remember them. And she thinks it's the best thing ever.

* When princesses cannot be found, Minnie Mouse will do. In fact, she may even be cooler than princesses, because the souvenir doll can talk, AND looks exactly like the real life Minnie. And she got her autograph.



* Boys like Tinkerbell too. especially if she shows up during the fireworks show.

* My kids have the best dad ever. He will sacrifice any amount of comfort and endure all sorts of pain to give his kids the chance to see the fireworks show.



* It's pretty funny when a dad gets soaked by his daughter's diaper. It's HILARIOUS when two dads get soaked by their daughters' diapers.

* It's possible to change a diaper while holding a child in mid air while waiting in line for a ride on Dumbo.

* It's very hard to take pictures when you're busy having fun. :)

* I married by best friend. And while he may be better than me at HORSE, I can whoop him in the ladder ball yard game thing. It's fun to be somewhere where you can play together, and not have the distractions of "everything" that needs to be done at home. I'm going to make a point to play more at home too.

* The Hydeens oversleep a lot.

* Trips home are not nearly as pleasurable as trips TO somewhere.

* Parents of kids with peanut allergies can somehow mark it on the reservation so that the plane will be peanut free for your flight. If you aren't aware of that, and just tell the flight attendants or the desk lady right before your flight, you will get a variety of responses. yes, thank you people, for the info that I've heard FIVE times already. I'm sorry to inconvenience you by asking you to pass out pretzels instead of peanuts so my daughter doesn't puke her guts out all over the plane. If I had known 6 weeks ago when I made my reservation that there was a place to mark that, I certainly would have. But now I know for next time. So just pass out the freaking pretzels. OR...MAYBE...since peanut allergies are like the fastest growing food allergy EVER, you might want to reconsider your little peanut thing anyway. Then those of us with a child with an allergy won't have to inconvenience you at all, and the world will be happier for the moms who just want to be home and are about to burst into tears because we don't want to hear it all AGAIN. I messed up. SORRY.

* When I'm tired and crabby, and my eldest is making decisions that are not safe and drive me crazy, I don't much care who sees me discipline her, or hears what I say to her, or to my husband, or how I say it. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying I don't care who sees it.

* Parents can make up "no interacting with each other" rules if necessary to keep their kids from talking, looking at, poking, and tapping each other. And if you threaten their chicken strips with it, they will follow it.

* Home really is sweet, even if it's messy, and you're tired, and you don't want to be back in the cold ugly midwest. You're home sweet home.

And here are a few more pictures, just for fun: